A World Of Fantasies

Fire Kindled Relationships

loced1@live.com

Dedication

This Book is dedicated to my Dad John and my Mom, the late Katie P. Flemings, who was a very unique person, she was a person who had her own uniqueness as well as character, I had to bring myself to learn, love and grow in love with, I had never known such a person before of her caliber in my life. I knew what I thought a mother should or shouldn't be but I knew what I wanted.

I wanted a mother that would give me a hug, and a little bit of love according to what I seen on television and according to the "Cosby Show" despite of my wrong doing. I never had the chance to do anything around her in order to hear her tell me not to do it or to just tell me stop or something, not that I needed it or anything because my grandmother did that part but I needed to be disciplinarian of a biological mother so that I could feel like I thought the other people felt; instead there was a father who claimed he loved me, I know he did because if he didn't, I probably would not have gotten the whooping I did get although today they would call it child abuse; to love is not to chastise every time something doesn't happen the way you want it to go your way as you will see later in the stories to come.

SYNOPSIS

Is the story of one man's hearts struggle to perfection that turned into failure, deceit and destruction, but in order for his life to be complete after so many years of failures, he reached out to help enhance the life of others.

The upsides and downsides of life struggles, and the downsides of life is one of life's most challenging infrastructure that resides at the bottom and is the cropping struggles trying to always keep us in a situation whereas we struggle trying to find the way back to the top. It is always hard when you are trying to be something that you are not; it is even harder trying to imitate having a somewhat like figure, always trying to be "Top Shelf ". The glory of life to man is what he considers himself to be. his success in life is a mind blowing excitement, which is the beauty of life that appears in a woman which is what catches his attention and actually throws him off because of the pulchritude and not what on the inside so he ends up getting caught up and loses his sight on what's really good. If the name of a woman and the looks are the same it throws a man off guard and he sees it first and not what his heart is saying to him. Which is what I would say every man that desires to have and to hold complimenting himself? All beauty is not the same, but it's in the eye of the beholder. The way one person sees beauty, is not the way all people sees it.

In regards of him speaking his thoughts that pertained to the caviar of his life, it got worst and became the most obnoxious and nauseating part of his life and why? because of the outer appearance "beauty" the thing we as humans most of the time always get trapped up in, falling for beauty verses the persons inner beauty "the person within" the unseen person, the not so beautiful, yet appealing to the eyes the brick house "Halle Berry" irresistibility, a got to and must have, can't do without problem, without a doubt that brings about a concern that causes one to fall into divers temptations, however! it turns out being a trapping device that lures one to only see beauty of the outward sight of things that are not really there as it seems, whereas! is "The Caviar" top shelf that give and put one into a desired state of being only to look on the outer appearance that did not specify what is on the inside.

Beauty is only an expression that does not depicts or defines reality or what's on the inside, heck; the devil was heavens beauty, it is just an occurrence that appears every once and a while and for some, "every now and then" it doesn't defines a person of what or who they are, it does not defines just because they are this or that, it's just an appearance, it simplifies and does not verifies who a person or thing is, it's just simply things that happens or will happen in life, for instance "Cheetahs" are beautiful, as well as the other "cheaters" that have the charms as well, "other wise would not have gotten any attention ", but inwardly they are beast and their spots never changes, once a beast, always a beast they never change.

A moment of desires can also become the awakening of life as a state of change; the finale of a new beginning of accomplishments well obtained; a wait well waited for after 10 years of waiting patiently.

Because of deep desires, thoughts and reminiscing being anxious; (Philippians 4:6) be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your request be made known. So he found out that he still didn't wait long enough for the right one to come along, and because he didn't it cause his life to be a living hell, going through hell and was on the way to hell that stands for every letter in it which is "Hot" "Evil" "Lonely" and Lamenting" there throughout all Eternity with No! chance of parole, oh my god and shaking my head because once you're there, there's no chance of coming back, there is no given twenty years but you only do ten, it's forever and ever with no end.

It was because of looks and the outer appearance and of a hidden heart that spoke loudly of loneliness, sadness and the need to be needed, and a want that needed to be wanted and cared for, yet still not the right choice because it was in lust that was enquired of one's desire to have and to hold and not till death do us part "meaning marriage".

So then he went from having to not having anything that he had and did not know what he really had if he had waited, long story short, well as you will see in the story then you will know and learn some things hopefully as you read this material."Life can be tricky according to our selfishly lusting after what's not yours.

My reason for this insert is that you will learn from your experience, mistakes, and wants verses the perseverance and persuasions that seeks to be a part of your life and in your life.

LIFE AND RELATIONSHIP MOMENTS

There are many things in life that are not perfect at all times, when things are going bad and just seems like it's getting no better you have to learn how to trust in the Lord and do good according, to his love, power, comfort, genuineness and his mighty acts of forgiveness, meaning God, has done so much for me and have kept me from falling into temptation and giving in to thoughts and suggestions of the ungodliness of things that's not like him, things such as rottenness, deceitfulness, wrongdoings, accusations and etc. I personally give thanks to God for whom he is and has been in my life. I love God with all of my heart as David in the bible, a man after God's own heart; was with the hope of not turning against him lest he died. I give my savior Jesus Christ honor and glory for all that he has done and are about to do because he has blessed me throughout the good times as well as the bad.

If it was not for the bad times and if it was not for his intervention in my life, I would have been lost and sleeping in my grave. I give God the praise and thanks for allowing me to be an influence in someone's life as far as with their breaking bread with one another and as well as being a help source in someone's relationship that seems to be going downhill and seems as if their relationships are not fixable. I give God the praises for what he has done with the hope of someone even reading and learning of some of the experiences I've had to encounter in life, that it can be a help to those that might be going through something and need a little "push" meaning "pray until something happen" might truly become a help to those that might be going through in their lives and for what? Give a little and live a little, a little here and a little there that keeps on growing until fully blossom.

The same spark that was seen in the beginning is still there! Which is to say that the garden is still there, it's the sin that made it look like it disappeared but because of greed, deception and carelessness and the consumption of needing but does not need and the wants but does not need, the thing is just except what you have and leave others alone. Just because it shines or glitters, does not mean it's a diamond gold dust or you've struck gold, the devil presents him or her as promising, but is it always? Remember the devil wears Prada.

The devil presents him or herself as well; the enemy always has something going on that will catch the attention of an onlooker that sees the outer appearance which is beauty, seriously! 2Corinthians 11:14 says and no wonder; for even Satan disguises himself and are transformed into an angel of light, meaning he will let you see what you want to see as long as you're looking at what he wants you to look at or see, he is conniving as well as deceiving, giving no one a break even when it seems good, for the bible tells us that there is a way that seems good unto a man/woman, but in the end thereof is death/destruction. Do you want to see the truth or what's before you?

I thank God for being able to go through life with the process of finishing that in which he has put before me and giving me the will power to do over and above and beyond that in which I can comprehend. I also give him honor for allowing my grandmother to be there for me; when I needed to be encouraged that it's going to be alright. I had no one else other than my grandmother to guide me in the right direction. My father did not take care of us in the way that I thought that he should have, but rather threw me off on my the grand of mothers who has gone to be with the Lord I hope, and I only say hope because of what the bible has to say about people going there, meaning, to Heaven.

The bible tells us in the book of John chapter 3:13 that there is no man, meaning nobody that have ascended into heaven, but he that came down from heaven, even the son of man which is in heaven. The bible goes tell us that to say that someone has gone to heaven, is to bring Jesus down from heaven; it also tells us that to say that someone has gone to hell; is to say that he has never ascended to heaven.. His bible did say that we will go into the bosom of Abraham according to Luke 16:22-23 that reads; as it came to pass, that the beggar died, and was carried by the angels into Abraham's bosom:

The rich man also died, and was buried: and in hell did he lifted up his eyes, being in torments, sees Abraham afar off, and Lazarus in his bosom, cried and said, Father Abraham , have mercy on me, and send Lazarus, that he may dip the tip of his finger in water, and cool my tongue, for I am tormented in these flames, can you imagine, Abraham, reminding him of his lifetime and said, when you had it going on, at least thought you had it going on, Lazarus had nothing and you gave him nothing of yours that he begged for, Remember that? Don't worry about him now for in the bosom of Abraham is he being comforted, but for you and because of your actions and what you have done, will be cast into torment not day and night, but night after night for there is no day there only darkness upon darkness, for in Hades there is no day, for the remainder of your existence is upon you for it is your home of eternity in whose walls are the walls of darkness of the outer darkness where there shall be weeping and gnashing of teeth. Matthew 8:12. I thank God for putting my grandmother in my path and teaching me the right road to follow. God has allowed my grandmother to teach me and show me the way according to his standards. No thanks to my ever so loving Father in which I do love dearly but he thought he could beat some sense into us with a switch or gym belt whereas he did not know the bible as I suppose, for the bible talks to the parents and tells them not to provoke your child to anger, meaning if you are going to punish him or her, then let it be for a good reason and not just because you're the parent, children have rights as well, unlike being chastised as they were coming up as a child and being beaten while tied up in a Croak-a-sack.

He did not do what he was supposed to do as a father and that was because he didn't know how to be a father, being a father/parent does not come with a manual, it's a learning experience and instinct that's inside of all people; my mother was not around for whatever reason to take care of me/us her children and raise us as her own children for we was born of her womb.

My dad thought that to be able to take care of his responsibilities was to whoop it out of me and the problem is solved every time I did something that didn't sit right with him. Dad thought it was the thing to do but instead it drove me farther away from him. The chastisement I had to endure from him seemed wrong at the time because it kept me out of trouble, I also say that no one should have to endure or go through what I had to from anyone be it a parent or whoever it doesn't matter.

I love my mama even though she was not there for me; it still gave me hope and the pleasure of finally meeting her. My brother came to Georgia gave me her number and it allowed me to be able to talk to her pretty much every time I got a chance. She was a great influence on my life just hearing her voice. her voice gave me hope, as I said earlier just being able to hear her voice, gave me seemed like life and more abundantly that one day I would meet her and finally see what it would be like to have a mother in my presence and know that she's all mine, my mama, It gave me love, joy, peace and happiness to see and feel what it was like to be in the presence of a real mama.

It was not easy because, I had to go through some trials and tribulations to get there, but I got there. God allowed me to go through those trials and tribulations not that I am happy or glad to have gone through them but, because he did just what he said he would do and has kept me and have not let anything come upon me that I could not bear, he has allowed me to go through, he has also allowed me to get to the person I have always wondered about my mama. I thank God for bringing and delivering me, because if I hadn't gone through anything, I wouldn't have anything to thank him for. I know that if it was not for him and my grandma and with the hope of ever seeing my mother, my life today would have went in an entirely different way and direction, which probably would of put me in a state of not giving him the praise and having a love for his people as I do now, I have gone through some things in my life that If I had to do them all over again I probably would seriously have to say, "when pigeons fly" excuse me but, to go through the agony and frustration again
it would be a joke and No Cursing!

It is impossible to please God without a voice, heart and having his spirit of truth; it is because of the things a person goes through that makes them strong. A person that does not seem to go through anything really need to check themselves and if they don't find anything that is wrong within themselves, then they are probably already half way home and there is nothing else the devil/enemy has to do, but wait for the recovery of your misunderstandings as he will be your only keeper as your home awaits you in a big way with its arms wide open in receiving It's prize "you", it is because of a person's wicked ways that gives him honor, pleasure and the privilege to receive the ear that once heard, but now have closed up its passage way to the heart.

Isaiah 5:14 therefore Hell has enlarged herself or have become impregnated , and have opened up her mouth without measure: with their glory, and their multitude :and their pomp/splendor, and he that rejoices, it will be his/her home because they are the ones that will descend into it, even though due to the things that I have gone through, it was only for me to go through, if it was anybody else, maybe even yourself, a friend or someone else close to you probably would have taken their own lives, simply because he said/God said in his word that he would not put any more on us than what we can bear, prime example Corinthians 10:13 there hath no temptation taken you but such as Common to man (man can bear) But God is faithful, who would not suffer you to be tempted above that which you are able; but because of the temptations he will make a way of escape, that you may be able to bear it.

No matter what you or a person goes through, God will fix it and he will fight your battle only if you believe, but you got to believe that he rewards them that diligently seeks him. it is impossible to please him if there is no belief or faith in him, sometimes we Need to know who we put our faith and our trust in that it should not have to be for a particular reason of any, because of what we think or what we feel about things, God still loves us despite of whatever we may be going through, he cares with an unconditional heart as he reins on the just as well as the unjust, the righteous as well as the not so righteous, as intelligent as we think that we are, we should already know how to love one another as we know how it feels to be loved. Also as we already know how we want to be treated or need to be treated with love, respect and the need to be loved and happy. We want to be loved, but we don't know how to give it, should we give love like we would like to receive it? Yes/ No.

If anyone have seen the movie "The Blind Side" then you would learn and know how to love despite of the color of your skin, despite of the size of a person, the way a person act as long as it is not out of character, or because of who they are with the respect you have for them as a person. A person is who they are rather you like it or not, it's just who they are deal with it or leave it alone, that way nobody gets hurt. When meeting someone and the both fall for each other, when your eye meet's the others eyes then the both of you will know because you would lose a partial part of your breath for each other.

If you are desperate and are in need, the best thing to do is not to meet up with someone because of your feeling's that are not real, the feeling that you think you have are only a feeling of wants lust and desire and not needs, it is a feeling of lustful thoughts, a feeling that causes pain for you and or the other depending on what he or you had on your mind; slam, bam thank you Ma'am, you know, one night stands, flesh speaking more than your control simply because you are now almost in a state of no return, engine ready to blow, feeling like a volcano ready to blow it's top, because of a feeling, you might just run into something that you would end up living with for the rest of your life, depending on the situation and rather if it's for life or death.

If you are lonely; stay lonely, because of your getting with somebody does not say that you will get happy as a matter of a fact you might just get even lonelier simply because there are some people that are married and are lonely living a single life while married. Just because you have gotten to know a person that you think that you would like to spend the rest of your life with really does not mean anything, but what does matter I s where is your heart, mind, body and soul is, because if it's not in the right place of being then it will explode right inside of your chest, in other words where ever your heart is there will your treasure be also, Luke 12:34, if your heart on messed up stuff then expect to have a messed up life and or relationship because you heart is not in the right place and your mind is tore up from the floor up and you know it, whose mind that is on Christ he will keep in perfect peace, Amen.

I understand that I have not yet come to the knowledge of the meanings of Why me? So many times in life things would happen in a person's life and the same question pops up, why me and Not asking ourselves why not me; with the fact of not evaluation or examining ourselves to see what caused the problem, before casting blame on someone else, we as people of the human species/race never ever are to be blamed and why is that?

The fact that a person will be a person will always want to be the one that's always right? though I beg to differ, he who is without sin or have never done anything wrong in life, let him or her throw or cast the first stone, if you or anyone have cast a stone, take it back; you yourself in your life have also done some wrong in your life before as well which does not matter what kind of wrong it is, wrong is wrong no matter which way you look at it, none is bigger than the other.

Things are always or seem to be always happening in a person's life and they probably will never understand it until the holy spirit brings it to their or your remembrance depending on who you're serving or worshiping, being one of the things he does so very well, if you trust in that which you have never seen, for he is like the wind, you cannot see it, but you can feel the effects of it, that's how God is and is good at doing besides just giving comfort to the comfortless, so I thank the invisible yet visible, it is because of the grace and mercy I serve, The Father, God the Son and God the Holy Ghost although some call him the holy spirit in which is the same for everything he does, he meaning God has never made a mistake and never will for he is too wise, he is the all knowing God of all creations that exist, ever have and is in first place of all things, he is the beginning and the end, he is "The Alpha and The Omega" and before he was there was no other, when God turned to repent there was no other to repent to other than himself.

God said in his word After man had transgressed that he repent that he had made man and the very existence of man, because of the wickedness he has caused such as adultery/sleeping with others while married, fornication/sleeping with others while not married, lying/lips are moving but are not telling the truth, cheating/ not being honest with others nor yourself, disengaged and disregards the life of equality and are unsociable, disrespect others as well as self and not keeping their word hidden in their hearts so that God might may provide and take care of his children as he wanted to in the beginning for he cares for us according to the book of Genesis 6:6 where it says and tells us that it repented the Lord that he made man on the earth and it grieved it him at his heart.

Whenever something caused your heart to grieve it has gotten to be something of the extreme and painful. If you are not careful these kinds of things will cause a person to lose their very own mind. It is alright to grieve because of maybe the tragedy of the lost of a love one or just simply because someone has done you wrong for no reason or has called you every name but your own name.

When you have done all you can do to satisfy or please your love one and have bent over backward and have gone out of your way and have forgotten about yourself in order to please someone else and they are still is not satisfied, then it's time to let time take its place and let bygones be bygones, because it is what it is or has turned out to be and the only thing to do now is to see the big picture.

God promised us life and that we might have it more abundantly, He breathe the breath of life into our bodies and has given us a soul so that we would know how to treat others with feelings of love and posture ,we are here for a purpose and in order for us to please Him/God, we must fulfill that purpose for whatever it might be, because He has fulfilled His, which is the breath of life, He breath into our bodies so that we might be thankful for all He has done for us His children.

God said to his son and to his spirit to let us make man in our own image which means let's create something beautiful and give it a purpose, a will, and a way to be just like us, perfect even as we are and let us make life worth living, let's give them a land that's not made by the hands of man, but of God that He may be satisfied with the outcome of it all. God is a good God and He will do just what he said he would do and to make things a little better, he said whatsoever thing you ask in my name it's yours for the taking and where ever your feet shall thread upon or walk upon it's yours for the taking, all you need to do is ask for it and believe and I will reward it to you or to them that diligently seek me.

It's not God's will that any should perish, but have everlasting life although many are called but, few are chosen, not because he have favorites because he does not have any, if it is any bodies fault, it is the choice you chose I simply only want to protect you from my own words I can't take it's because of your sins that will cause you to be lost and it's because of my love for you I will save you from, but because of my unchanging words as it was even before your time that I gave to you, I was the same then, now and forever and my word I can't and never will go against because the truth is the truth.

My Struggles

As I sat and thought back over my life I thought about my childhood days, as the first day of school approached and as one day passed, another one began, at the first day of going to school I was so happy and ready that I made a mistake and had a number one experience moment, because I was so excited, So as my first day of began, I met my first grade teacher in whom name was Mrs. Jackson, she was light skinned, short and bowleg and mighty fine from what I can remember a knock to the out fine, she was gorgeously a knock out any man would have desired to have and hold till death us do part or just to be around as she had a spirit that draws you to her, the Halle Berry of the seventies, so beautiful, oh how I wish I could have those days back! But as her significant other give or take, dang, I mean, but anyway. Compare them and see it they're like yours as we go through some of the struggles I has had.

I can remember being unable to sleep at night, being that she was the only thing that was on my mind, she was the answer to my dream and the mother to my children, I mean I was living in the future and didn't know it, anyway I had dreams, let me tell you that even as a child the enemy plays with your head or mind for those who understand what I'm saying and that are a grownup; I couldn't help from thinking about her and it was just a thought of how beautiful she was as I can remember at the age of six maybe seven years old, although I think it was at the age of six, which is well let me see in six days Gods creation was finished and he rested, but it was the first day of the last day of beauty in my eyes. I thought about how beautiful she was also I thought about the beauty of the adversary and the beauty he/she possessed and what beauty consisted of; and the devil was kicked out of heaven because of it.

I learned that it is not the beauty that really counts, but what it possesses rather It's good or bad it really does not matter, what really matters is hidden, guarded and protected with a wall covering it, which is the heart; the enemy will show you a beautiful heart of an outward appearance, but on the inside is deceitfulness and none trusting but are trying to figure out your thoughts, not being able to read your mind, but tries to make suggestions by the words from your own mouth speaking out loud of your problems when talking to yourselves. Where ever your treasure is, there will your heart be also. the bible tells us that where your treasure is, there will your heart be also, needless to say right now but I thought I had founded my treasure and I knew where I wanted my speakers to be, which was right up against hers which was my thoughts even as a child.

God desires to use us and so does the adversary who Does not care or give anything about us as earthly beings, you, or your Mama, who you are or whose you are, it's just that I thought she was an angel of some kind that fell out of Heaven, she had curly hair, light skinned, slim, with a voice that sound like heaven, when she was upset with me it didn't matter, it just kept her closer and as a matter of a fact it made her even more beautiful to me because of being blinded by beauty. Lucifer was heavens beauty and because of it he fell and was named the fallen angel kicked out of the glory of God because of disobedience and with the thought of taking his throne because of his/her beauty, beauty is what traps everybody and simply captivates whatever is in front, behind or lust after it, love is not lust and lust is not love, love last forever whereas lust is just an excitement of being able to accomplish it.

I can remember watching some kind of educational show or movie in the school auditorium and as I can remember had a magazine of some kind reading it and hoping that she sees it and sit with me, so we could share it with each other, but she took it from me and it upset me that she took it but, after a while I was right back in love with her again at least I thought, she was so beautiful, nice and kind to me and I guess because I had never seen anyone so beautiful before, just blew me away it blew my mind with the beauty she possessed, I don't know maybe I was a little boy who thought he was in love with his first grade teacher at such a young age and didn't know it, can you be in love at such a young age? I don't know but it sure felt like it, if that's what it was supposed to feel like.

As my life goes on I remember getting out of school ripping and running to get to what I loved to do after school which was to watch the Flintstones, I dream of Jennie and some of my other favorite shows like (That girl), and The Andy Griffith show, I just loved watching television and still do, it was a part the existence of my world I could relate to and it kept me from being bored, because it was the closes thing to the reality of where I wanted to be, because Of the life style I lived, which was not a really good one, and not that it was that bad but it was a shameful one not being able to invite friends to your house, because of the way I Lived, in which was not my idea way of living, it seemed like everybody else had so much more, always wanting to live in a better environment, only having what we could afford which was a black and white Television when others had a more up to date TV set and even though it was in the pass, we could not afford a colored television, it seemed like everyone else had one which was not good, but caused a lot of pain and shamefulness to me.

We could not afford one when they came out in those days, probably because we was poor, but whatever it was, I remember buying some red, blue and green plastic paper, cutting it out to the size of the TV and putting it up to the TV, trying to imagine the color of the clothes the people was wearing, I remember saying that it was one color and one of my cousin would say that it's another color and often it was that color because, he was so to say the King or the biggest and most daring one to challenge in the family, he had the last and final words to say in the house I grew up in, and whatever he said was what he said or get jumped, there was no one that would try him not even his uncles, except for the one that was as daring as he was, and that was his uncle son.

my father who did not take anything from anybody, because he was the ultimate one that whatever he said, was not to be tampered with, many say that it was because when he was in the army, and was shell shocked and was not right in the head ever since, so as it seemed everybody that knew him never tried him, so my cousin was the other one of a kind but, when it came to uncle son he was the king in which Peanut must have been the prince, (Rip) but anything pretty much we told Peanut and we tell them that we was going to tell him they would say "I don't care" (in a southern way of saying) so we would tell him and he would go looking for them and being that the town We lived in Pelham Georgia, a place that is so small if you bet your eyes you would have passed through it , laugh out loud, anyway; if you are traveling through Pelham it would be like a flash, it's not a city, but, it's more of a community, A place that pretty much everybody came together as a family, sort of like "poetic justice"

The Movie, despite of the hard times we had, we laughed it off as if nothing ever happened even though he founded the people that was bothering us, as they would be shaking in their pants, saying things like, "I didn't do nothing," or "he Storing on me," in a southern way of sayings, (saying it slowly) "they lying on me" anything other than that would be cursing, which is something parents didn't play back in the day, when it came to respecting your elders or those that had rule over you. In the days of my growing up in that part of the town or city, we learned from our upbringing to treat everybody like they were somebody and no less than that.

Respect is something everybody should have, without is hideously ridiculous for the simple reason, it shows the type of environment and or type of air you've been breathing for a person is known by who he or she associates with living and listening to as his or her surrounding atmosphere. "What have you been breathing?".

Life is short, it's amazing, it's at the end before you know it, and now you're wishing and hoping you could have done things a little different or a little better and now you're in your thirties, forties and or maybe fifties, time has now passed you by and you're wishing in one hand and manure in the other hand as my grandmother use to say, which one would you eat out of? figure it out, which one is more visible than the other, the wishing hand or the hand with the manure in it?

Sometimes life itself might stink at times but at least it worth living for and working out situations, a marriage or a relationship is not going to smell good all of the time, but at least it's something to work out, prime example Noah was in the Ark with all those animals, need I say more when it's time to go to the bathroom, well it's the same with a relationship, anyway, which one would you eat out of. Relationship's are precious and promising.

And if you know the story you'd know what it is that you are doing in the other hand. it's not the fact that anyone person didn't do what they had to do, it's just that it's too late now and you would have to try new venues and stay focus on whatever it is that you're or they are doing to stay focused. one way I found out how to stay focus on life was to stay focus on what Jesus have for me, because what he has for me is for me and whatever he has for anyone person, it is for them and no devil in hell or in earth can take it away because he got the whole world in his hands.

I had to realize that I am in was and still is in his hands as it is just as the bible tells us in the book of John 10:28 and I give unto them eternal life; and they shall never perish; neither shall any man pluck them out of my hands, which lets us know that God really cares for us his people, do you belong to him or which of the two powers you belong to?, "The Power of "The Devil" or the "Almighty God" which means his power will never end, whereas the Devil's will, whose you're leaning on?

FORBIDDEN THINGS:

it is forbidden for a man to look on a woman because of her beauty, curves, lips, hair or her feet, 1. To look upon a woman is alright, it's when you look a second and a third time that makes it a problem because now it's a desire, for instance David looked upon Bathsheba 2Samuel 11:2 One evening David got up from his bed and walked around on the roof of his palace. From the roof he saw a woman bathing. the woman was very beautiful, and David sent someone to find out about her, The man said, "She is Bathsheba, The wife of Uriah the Hittite."

David sent messengers to get her and she came to him, "after all he was the King" and he slept with her, but as she was bathing she was purifying herself, meaning she had just finished her monthly cleansing, long story short she became pregnant and bore "Solomon." It is forbidden even to look into the eyes of a woman because of the captivating, luring and causes weakness that tends to trick and deceive the very essence of mans strength that gives and makes him do as a man is designed to do when it comes to a woman, and that is to challenge her! which is to go after what's before him and is pleasing to the eyes that causes him to thinks of every word that he can in order to get what he wants and nine times out of ten he gets it because the woman herself loves to be challenged, because it pleases her and gives her excitement that he is even pursuing her, it is by any means necessary, temptation is the desire to have.

It is because of a looks that men to fall. It was because of the beauty of Mother Eve that caused Adam to give in to her, it was because of the beauty and persuasion of Delilah that caused Sampson to lose his strength and it's all about what a man sees that causes him to accumulate desires to have and because of his dominance to rule and conquer, he can't or don't want to lose out on anything because it is shameful to him to lose.

my thing is that women are stimulated by touch, men are by sight, prime example a man gives a woman a house, she will turn it into a home, a man give a woman his sperm and nine months later she will give him a child and the beat goes on. you give a woman grocery she will make it into a meal, what I am trying so hard to say is that woman was made for men and men for women, but one woman for one man and vise versa, not the other way around, Men are the suppliers and Women are The multipliers which is the only way that the earth can be replenished.

Gods given gift is to please and to make sure that the opposite sex is satisfied. A woman should not be thought of as weak, maybe physically, but not mentally, a woman's way of luring is by the gestures and movement of her body, my main point is that a woman sees a man looking before he knows, she sees him and knows he's looking, which is why she lets him know that she is not where he's looking, which is I'm up here, not there, not her cleavage, why? Because men are distracted yet are attracted to what's in front of him and are mostly moved by sight, whereas women are mostly moved by touch, it is because of the way the man mind is equipped, which is to please the opposite sex that also causes a man to be mislead and pointed in another direction, because of his inability to focus on the situation and not the friction, it happens because of his forgetfulness of his need of having mental strength as well, verses his physical strength.

Man can stand his ground physically, but is not mentally stable or able to take on a woman's persuasions' when it comes to her flirtatious ways, in the book of Proverbs 5:5 it tells us that the lips of an immoral woman drips honey and her mouth is smoother than oil but, in the end she is better than a wormwood and is as sharp as a two-edged sword, in the beginning of any relationship it is not good to look upon a woman because of her looks or for her to look upon a man because of his looks, physic or because of his smooth words of deception undetected but are already known of, but is perceived as being cute, charming and better than that challenging, it is known and is recognized that women loves challenges, and loves being pursued after, which is all to be said that whenever your worthiness have to be tested, tempted or tried, then the challenge is not worth it, it is not worth it when being played with or toyed with the sending of false signals.

It is only when two hearts can beat as one is the one to pursue after, due to the wantonness of the two parties that are pursuing each other's that brings me to another portion of a kind of a forbidden thing to do and that is to go after what's not coming after you that can also be devastating. there are times in our lives that will be challenging, daring and complicated sometimes we give in to temptation because it seems right or is a present help to us at the time, but it is not good for us, prime example everything that shines does not mean it's gold or a diamond, who knows it could be fire, but because things in life are so tempting and we want to so much do whatever we want to do and nobody can tell us otherwise so we keep walking over the cliff until we fall over and it's nobody's fault but ours.

Other thing that are forbidden according to the bible and that I have probably already talked about is that no same sex should be talking about having a family, why? because it corrupts others as well as the children, there should not have to be any children growing up having two of the same parent, one they call mama and the other is called mommy for the distinction of the two, it is wrong and people know that it is wrong simply because of the structure and body parts of the two, one should have the fertilizer and the other the garden, every garden needs fertilization in order for anything in it can have a chance at growth.

let me say that it is forbidden to even drink water that you know is not good for you, but because it looks good and you're in a deserted or desperate place you give it although as time passes you will reap the benefits. Isaiah 5:20 it warns us as far as calling something to be something that it's not, it simply says in the king James version; woe unto them that call evil good, and good evil; that put darkness for light; and light for darkness ; that put bitter for sweet; and sweet for bitter!

The bible asks us a question? Who changed the truth and made God a liar? Romans 1:25 and worship and served the creature more than the creator? Who was it? You or who changed the truth into what they wanted it to be? it is sometimes the small things in life that are so easy to find or figure out, because it is the least expected, for instance if you are in a chicken coup does not mean you're a chicken, sometimes we can change the truth into what we want it to be, but that still does not make it right or the truth, it's still is what it was before you changed it no matter how much or hard you try it's still the same and cannot be changed into the truth unless God changes it.

CHILDHOOD UPBRINGING:

The care and trainings of young children, the process of teaching, promoting and supporting the physical, emotional, social and intellectual development while yet in the womb. It is forbidden to interrupt anything that is already in order, the bible tells us in the book of 1^st Corinthians 14:40 let all things that is done, be done decently and in order (paraphrased) things not to do was getting in the middle of a conversation, especially parents when they were talking, it was either it can wait, or save it, simply it was not as important as the conversation your parents were having and it was Considered rude and untrained.

It meant having no manners, and you were called a No mannered child, a disrespectful child that needs the attention of correction, spanked or whatever it takes to get his or her attention that will keep them from the luring of disrespectfulness, according to Proverbs 22:6 that "tells" us and "not ask" us to train up a child in the way that they should go, for when they are old they will not depart from it, which would saved his/her souls and or life from the fires of hell and the ways of the world, for it causes embarrassment to the parents and shows that they have not had any proper training at home.

In the seventies we had to respect our parents, why? it showed pride in proper parenting and teachings that was good for protection as being a black child while living in the south, it didn't look good and it made your parents look bad to the "so call superior people" always having to prove yourself that you were not like animals that were untrained or untaught, but it was for our protection when we were in the presence of the "so call superior people."

Misbehaving was not tolerated living in the south, "the deep dirty south" it seemed as if others had more authority over our Parents than what they had over themselves as it seemed, meaning if we are not or were not well mannered and caused an interruption as they talked, we would be chastised and there was nothing could be done about it, we was suppose to be trained like we was some kind of creatures and less than humankind "in my own words" as I can Remember, like animals on a leach which was what it felt like, it was said that we should only speak when we are spoken to, in other words be quiet when grownups are talking. children were be quiet and not make a sound, and so after that, it made our parents proud of our accomplishments, that way Parents are happy and proud of their uninterrupted conversations which gave them a good name for being a so call "Good Boy" the male that is, getting a pat on the face or back as being their "Good boy" for keeping our mouths shut, not making a sound to come out of our mouths children with no life is very hard to do as being children doing nothing, not being able to speak our minds and saying what's on it. this time in my life was devastating and unethical.

Living in the south was not always southern hospitality when it came to your rights while being of the black culture where I am from, when you got in trouble everybody knew it and everybody seemed to be the other parent. Going to school was not all that good, but it was not all that bad as far as I can remember and because of the things that were done seemed to be the way of life; everything was segregated.

The girls went to a separate school away from the boys, the school the girls went to was called "The Girls School" and the School the boys went to was called "The Boy's School. Can you imagine? A school full of black males with a white principal whose name is the name of a State Texas Houston, in whom had a gym belt for chastisement, then switched to a wooden paddle because he felt that he was not getting through to us, then to make it worst the Board of punishment was advanced by putting holes in it so that when it hits you, there would be nothing to slow it down or to hold it back that also made it speed up.

There was one time that I did something and had to go to the office and got a paddling and was hit so hard till I thought he had broken my hip, because I could not sit down for what seemed days, So I think that taking disciplinary out of the home was wrong in which should have been taken out of the school system first. I don't think that it would have been the way that it is today because we made the parents less than a parent, so now the cycle has started all over again, taking away parenthood from the home. My question is when are we going to go back to the biblical standards that this land was built upon and let the parent be the parent and the child be the child and let freedom ring in the ears of everyone and stop trying to tell everybody how they should live their lives and parenting others children more than the parent is parenting their own children in the home?

Although, there were times not to speak and there were times to speak, who is to say? So then as a child I was being protected by not talking , being it was my father's way of protecting us and if it was your mother/(Grandmother) in my case, the one that (Raised me) that was doing the talking and she got interrupted she then would let my father know for disrespecting her in front of people and causing disgrace to come upon the family name, which was worst than being put in* time out.* Children are being put in time out these days and right after time out expires, they are right back to doing whatever. My family, which was my grandmother, went straight by what the word of God said that says that if you spare the rod, switch, or belt or whatever got into their hands was not going to kill them but will save their lives, and would save their souls and will help them to go the right path.

According to the book of proverbs 22:15 It says, "Foolishness is bound in the heart of a child; but the rod of correction shall drive it far from him" in which I am a strong believer of, it kept us out of trouble and out of jail, whereas being foolish and doing foolish things has taken away from what the word of God says, we have allowed our children run, live their own lives and run not only their own lives but ours "The Parents" as well, they have put fear in the heart of their parents and because of that have caused the parents to be scared to challenge them, because of the fear of the law, also with the fear of going to sleep at night, fearing that their children are going to do something to them as they slept throughout the night, when we should have put the fear of God in them to not over step or bite the hands that feeds them or that have rocked them to sleep at night.

Getting back to my childhood and the way I was brought up was to honor your mother and your father, but in my case I only had my father and my grandmother who played the role that my mother should have played, though she was not there. I don't exactly know what happened between my mother and father but whatever happened probably was for a good reason. for whatever reason people just don't stay together anymore like they use to and why? maybe it's because the grass seems greener on the other side, yet it was dying faster than it was alive, it's simple facts that if you touch what's not yours or belongs to another, you have already committed some kind of sin, because you have gone against God's will and you have become a home wrecker by interrupting another's life, because you think that you should have or need to have someone else's goods more than they do.

Why is it that we as people have to always struggle with who can take who from who? when you think about it, if we think you can then so does someone else think they can and we end up never winning, we are now going around in circles and always ending up in the same place whereas we left off "Nowhere" although we think we've done something so great, such as I took her away from him or I took him away from her, what a viperous way of thinking, yet foolish behaviors and just a snake in the grass. I wish my mom and dad could have stayed together.

As a matter of a fact, I did not know where my mom was or if she'd even existed on the planet anymore, but then there came a time that when God sent my angel and I was able to hear my mother's voice on the telephone, at that time a phone call was only cost a dime, "ten cents" to talk as long as you wanted as I found myself talking to her on the telephone for what seemed like hours perhaps it was hours talking to her I do not remember all I know is that I was excited to be able to hear my mother's voice oh how beautiful her voice sound. I don't remember what we talked about but, I sure knew that I wanted to meet her some day, so my angel had this plan after we had talked about some things and fighting each other, but not actually hurting one another that we would find a way to get you to see her so as we fought each other.

He hit me and I kicked him at least under a table but then afterwards we got back together as if nothing ever happened, we went out to the bars where we were drinking beers and smoking our cigarettes and was having a brother to brother good time as we grew more and more to know each other and things. You know, the things we did as children of the seventies and eighties and some of the nineties.

In the year of 1977 it was the year long awaited for, it was the hear I met my mom, I can remember getting on the bus and was on my way to see the person on the other side of the phone that I happened to be my Mama. So there I was walking down the sidewalk with a red and white bandana wrap around my right knee thinking I was proving something to my mom that I was bad or something and for whatever reason I don't remember but it felt good going to see her for the first time in life because I didn't know what she looked like in real life only on a black and white picture.

So as I walked down the sidewalk with my luggage with a red bandana tied around my right knee thought I was going to make a big impression on my mama by doing what I thought was cool as well as being a total jerk because I lived in the south and heard so much about the north, thought I had to at least look bad or something but didn't, so as I got closer to the address of where she lived I seen people outside playing cards and right off the bat though I'd never seen her I knew my mother, though she'd never seen me before she knew who I was and I knew who she was being that I had only seen a younger picture of her when she was a young lady in the gown she'd graduated in from high school or college in, she was my mother and I was so happy to see her it made me feel complete at the time but, I started realizing that, ok, here she is but, there is still an absence in my heart, because I still missed out on my childhood with her as my mom." time"

Still but because my mother and my father were not together as I realized and as it seemed as though they never was together for that long anyway though months down the road I did something I thought I would have never have done and that was to disrespect my mother; but as I remembered my cousins use to tease me that my mother was an alcoholic and I found out that she was and so when I found out I lost respect for her "however; over the years she gave her life to Christ, stopped drinking as well as smoking cigarettes."

A few months later I left and went back to Georgia and resided there and got a job spreading cloths in Pelham Ga. a city now that can't afford to pay its own electric bill, what a pity And in doing so I truly regretted that I disrespected my mother in who I was in search of for so long I felt bad about it even till this day. I truly loved my mom and would've done anything in the world within my power for her. I love her so dearly and even though she was not there for me I don't blame her for anything because there is always two sides to a story.

In order to hear a story form each person, a place is in order for the two to come together, even the bible tells us to lets come together so that we can reason together, in other words let's hear it from the horse's mouth together which is not to say that I believe one more than the other, because he have his story and she have hers. Two different set of eyes and hearts never lie simply because now the two can see each other and now know that it's either do or don't because now they would be able to see the perception of things together with each other knowing if the other is telling the truth or not which is the only way to find out if the truth is being told or not.

So I went back to Pelham and found a job and worked and there I laid eyes on a beautiful young lady I always wanted to get to know during high school who I called my high school sweetheart in which we got together. We ran away together and because of something her mother said about me, which was nothing, caused us to have our final night together because of something her mother thought or something she said she had heard, also lets us know that if we have not heard it from the horse's mouth for ourselves, then maybe we should hold our peace and or mind our own business which is why most of the {time}we get either into some trouble or we would cause confusion to others that may or may not understand and just because your life is not going right, then why should you mess someone else's up because they aren't giving the kind of love you have been seeking all of your life.

Why not just be happy for them, yours is either coming or not It depends on you. Although it could have been what I believe was based on the color of my skin, which was a light skin brother being up to no good which was what she thought and was just in it for you know what to win it and be gone. But for me it was not like that and I have never ran behind anyone, if they didn't want to be with meh well, I love you but if I have to go through the extreme to keep you, then that's just it. I will not be the one that's kissing up to something that really don't want anything to happen simply because the way I see It, if you want to be with me, then you will not put me through anything you don't want to be put through, but you would treat me the way you would want or like to be treated.

In the book of Galatians, the 6^th chapter tells us to bear you one another's burden, and so fulfill the law of Christ. It also states that if a man thinks himself to be something when he is nothing, he deceives himself but for us to let every man prove his own work and then shall he have rejoicing. Don't question me, question the bible. It also says to let him prove his own work and then he shall have rejoicing in himself alone and not in another, for every man shall bear his own burdens. It tells us not to be deceived. God is not mock; for whatsoever a man sowed that shall he also reap.

So anyway, shortly after we broke up, the last song we heard together as we sat in my car was a song by Marvin Gaye and that song was Sexual Healing and It's not that we needed sex, it was just the fact that we needed and wanted each other for strength, love, and happiness it was all we had together. It seemed everybody was against us being together, it was hard breaking up and I don't personally know how we broke up but we did.

Then as life passed I met someone that became my child's mother, one beautiful chocolate woman with everything a man could ever ask for, want or need. So when I met her it went on for a long time. At least until my son was about six or seven months old. I remember one night going to my son's mother's house to talk to her in regards to her son. It was a rainy night in the month of September. I believe I was hurting in pain mentally because I wanted to be with the love of my life but because of some funny actions the same thing happens with her. Somebody filled her head up with junk, trash and garbage. whenever somebody tells you about something they heard about but never would tell you what it was they heard it's going to end up being not the truth anyway, it's just gossip.

Anything can be fixed but whenever someone fibs on you it's the hardest ever to try and fix simply because it's was suppose to break you down but as long as you know that whatever the devil meant for your bad, God will turn it around for your good. people will talk about thing that's true and not true just to have something to talk about and when they don't have anyone to talk to, they end up talking to themselves. They never told me that whatever it was could be fixed, for whatever reason. it is because of being nosy, it causes frustration and confusion in one's mind for whatever reason. I don't know.

So being the person that I am, was and still is and have always been never kissing up to anyone or showing how much I really care, went on my way and ended up in Syracuse NY some thousand or so miles away from where I grew up at simply because sometimes when a person sees that he or she have you in love with them will tend to play you and have you kissing up to them to satisfy themselves rather than for the both being satisfied together and not one getting over on the other so I found a job working at a bank called Marine Midland bank in the down town area of Syracuse, in which became my place of residency.

A place where I met my second son's mother and I know that it's not that important in the way that I met her, but I got jealous of this guy who happened to be a Caucasian man and in which I was not too comfortable with being that I was I believe raised up in the south, did not think that it was right for a white man to be with a black woman because of some of the things I've seen and heard of, being raised in the south, not only that but mixed races just did not fit with me. So I did all I could that was in my power to take her away from him, the woman he claimed to love, care about and would do anything for with my black sister, because in my mind she was not supposed to be his, she was supposed to be mine's or another brother's." I am not prejudice" it's just the way things were back then and I didn't know any better, so eyes off of me as so."

Not my Caucasian brother whose ancestors probably were slave masters that took our women against their will and from their man, because they could, I was hurt to see this happening and so I went for it and scored. I got the woman, took over his household devilishly, conquered what I went after and got a child out of the deal in which I gain stepdaughters that loved me and on top of it all, gained a friend and the friend that I gained was the man that I took the woman in whom I mothered my child.

So as life proceeds we had our own differences. She bought us a car I kept the car at my place, she did not have a license to drive, she thought I was trying to take advantage of her so early one morning or night whenever it was, she came to my place and emptied out a bag of sugar into the gas tank, how I know that is because when I seen some white crystal power like substance inside the gas top, some on the ground and a sugar bag on the ground, I knew that it was her. So after a day or so went by I took the tank off the car, the substance was in the bottom of the tank. So I confronted her about this substance being in the car, she laughed and told me something I thought I would never hear from her which was since she got the car, I stopped coming around as often as I was and she thought that I was trying to use her all of a sudden, now that I had a car I was supposedly riding females in it.

I guess because she paid for the car but did not have possession of it or of myself, now I wasn't around enough now. So as life went on, I got myself into church in which I was not a complete stranger to, just did not know it like I do now till this day and are still learning, trying to come to the knowledge of my lord and savior Jesus Christ. So I found myself a church home and started going faithfully every midweek evening service, every Sundays and became a faithful member to the Church, the Pastor, and to the people in the church but most of all to God.

As time did not stop for little ole me, it kept on moving and as I got deeper and deeper involved in the church and God's word, I found myself like Adam in the Garden of Eden. I found myself without a companion after I thought that I had done all I needed to do. I became a youth Sunday school teacher at my church and in regards to what was going on in the streets, brothers killing one another, leaving sisters behind with a big responsibility, which was to raise their children by themselves with the absence of the male figure.

So then I left the children with one simple phrase in which they remember even until today, I believe if I asked them today the same question, they would remember, whenever we had Sunday school where is the Love came up they took it to heart and for so long to a point in Sunday school it came up when a certain subject was touched on or talked about the question was asked (where is the love) so I say also even today if I've done all I could do to cause others to do wrong and or have criticize any and expect for them to do me better, then I have fallen short of what I have said in the pass and should or will be accounted for whatever wrong I have done or cause them to stumble and look back on my teachings then I have fail for not living up to par and as living in today's society. So afterwards I became a Deacon In which I was very happy because of the blessings God had bestowed upon me. I was making some accomplishments in life at least I thought.

Myself as a deacon was one of which, a type of leader in the church with the word leader all by itself made me feel like, wow, now I'm going somewhere in life because I was then a deacon, but little that I knew came with the title was a big responsibility and even though I was already a Sunday school teacher, it gave me more responsibilities. The book of 1st Timothy says likewise must the deacon be grave (reverent) not doubled tongued, not given to much wine, not greed for filthy lucre (money). It also states that he should possess or have the mystery of the faith in, with a pure conscience and let them also be proved, meaning: let them be worthy to carry such a position; then let them use the office of a deacon, being found blameless having one wife.

As a wife there is also a part she has to play as long as she has life in her body and desires to stay married to her husband and to live the life style of being a saved wife which is sacred life unto God and are ordained of him. According to the bible and God's standards, (the wife) it's better to have your own wife and for her to have her own husband, so that there will be no mistakes or tumbling's in his or her life. Anyway, as the bible goes on to say, it tells us that even the wife should also be graved, and not a slanderer, but sober and faithful in all things and to let the deacon be the husband of one wife, ruling their children and their own houses well, It means to me in all due respect for the word of God means to bring them up in the admonition with God and respect in mind and in good behavior that they would have a long life in doing so because if they respect others then in return with all due respect will receive respect from others.

So then, with all that being said, with me becoming a deacon brings great responsibility for me as being the man in the house needed to do what I thought was God's will in honoring him but being that having a simple mind looked at it in the wrong way so I looked and I searched and I found myself a girlfriend in which became my wife after six or seven months of dating I started to feel like I was wrong by getting a wife because I was now a deacon.

So I let that get to my head and met a little lady who was appealing to my eye who was about 4"11 Inches in height who in my mind thought "Was a winner" and thought that because she was short I would be able to protect her and give her the love and kind of love she deserved to have from her man, the man who became her husband. Me, the man of the house me, and what I said was supposed to be what goes, no questions asked, you know don't question your husband unless he ask you a question.

little that I knew I needed protection from her, she turn out to be wild and crazy, you see she was my first, not my first but my first wife, in whom was from a well known place in New York City, as I found out that the ladies that came from this place in New York thought they were bad "Brooklyn's in the house" yeah right give me a break I mean people from those parts to my experience thinks of themselves as being bad, which is the reason why they don't really keep a man, or maybe even the men can't keep a woman, well as it seems, the women from there seems to stick with the men from there as if it was some kind of a stick together no matter what culture, why? to any others that are not from there are misfits and see that the women from my experience have a control problem within themselves, they want to be the boss, I was wrong but, why not be a woman and let a man be a man and not try and tell him how to be one, that also became our problem because no one knew who they was, it's called having identity crisis, not knowing who or what you are is a big problem, isn't it?

So I found her and we dated and we dated until one day I was getting ready to go home, I gave her a kiss on her forehead which was my specialty in checking to see if a woman really wanted to be with me as it did work by way so she talk to her girlfriends about me to check to see if I was gay so her girlfriends told her that she should invite me over to spend the night with her. So as time progressed, she talked me into staying the night with her and I said yes, but because I was a man of God being a leader in the church as a deacon, thought I had control over my body and I would be able to resist temptation meaning her and everything I admired about her, so that Saturday night I listened to her and took a bite of the apple meaning I did something I was not and shouldn't done.

I slept with her and was going to sleep thinking that I had it made until early before the first appearance of daylight she didn't sleep the whole night wondering how she was going to check me out to see if I was a straight man, Or a gay man who just had the looks and was respectful. I really want to say to all that think that they have the power of resistance over the opposite sex, think again, a man and a woman can only be either mates, couples, sisters and or brothers, not friends, The mind wonders and imagination creeps up on you and runs wild and the next thing you know to two will be slapping skin but are not friends, because opposite really attracts because now you're wondering what things are like or could be, and yes it does happens, the enemy have so many tricks, you can't even phantom or begin to Imagine.

True to what I had become, being a man of God, found out that I was not all that strong playing with fire. In other words, testing temptation and my strength forgetting that the power I had was not any power at all because I was trying myself not knowing that if you try to do something by way of staying away from it has its greatest power on you because it cause her to early in the morning she tried me by backing up to me as she kissed me on my body (I'm just being real now). Anyway she started kissing on me and things happened and she found out that I was all man and that there was nothing in the picture or on me that stated that I was gay.

So then, maybe three months later, I found out that she was with child in which I put there by way of me and her together begat a child whereas the baby became a daddy's baby, daddy's girl. So then, with her being pregnant I did not want to bring any shame to the church or myself and so I did something I regretted doing later on in life because of what happened to us and the talk that people was talking about in our regards. So I asked her to marry me as I went down on one knee to present myself as a man ready to take care of her and not just her but the two month old as well as her 2 year old daughter.

Things that went on in my head was that I did not want my child to be a bastard child or for her to be born out of wedlock and so three or four months later that year we got married, which it was for all the wrong reasons. So I got married because I loved her and wanted to take care of her and her children and do some of the things for her children that I seen my uncles do for their children when they were living so that they could have what I never had, which was a twofold family meaning a man and a woman figure in the household. So we got married and started a new life. We started going to church together, we sang in the choir together.

She was one of the lead singers who sang very well and we were just doing our thing, living as a family. We raised three beautiful girls from the time we were married, doing real good until Mr. Misunderstanding (flash bulletin, thou shall not covet thy neighbors wife, (Exodus 20:17) got in the way and when Mr. Misunderstanding got in the way, and when that happened things start changing, ( no more hugs, kisses, good mornings and etc. such as what we had together which was love for each other caring for each other, sharing each other's feeling, pain and downfalls, we stop feeling the pain of the other and started focusing on our own pain.

When listening to other's it is the beginnings of sorrow, hurt, pain, confusion and deceit "(Big mistake)" It informs of what others think about your lives together which pulls apart t so that it would be unnoticeable or invisible to the eye of your heart or for your heart to recognize or see what is going on until it is too late. The bible tells the husband's to love their wives even as Christ loved the church and gave himself for it (Ephesians 5:25) which is what I thought I was doing.

I provided for us to have food on the table, made a way for us both to have transportation because when I met her she did not know how to drive or cook very well as I know it being that I was from down south. In the city of Pelham Georgia my grandma Carrie who was born in the month of November 28th, 1895, she lived 103yrs and passed away in 1999, who taught me how to cook without showing me because I watched her mostly every time she cooked. I was the one in the kitchen asking for the cornbread crumbs and rice cake followed by the left over's left in the pan after making homemade cake. In fact my grandmother made everything from scratch, from corn bread to cake, from collard greens to green beans snap beans down to even cooking possums, and coons in the oven surrounded with potatoes and onions, from rabbit stew to smothered pork chops to chicken stew. I learned it by watching her.

So I taught my wife how to cook and drive. It probably was not in a good way to teach her, but it worked. She learned from the sound of my voice which stirred her in the right direction, she didn't want to disappoint me and even up to date she hears my voice when she is about to do something wrong even now, and no I am not saying that when teaching someone something you have to holler or scream at them but it was what I knew and it worked for her like it worked for me. I was raised being told what to do in a louder than usual way of asking, but in a way of yelling rather than in a soft and humble voice, however I probably shouldn't have hollered, but It was a successful mission accomplished.

I myself can only think of one reason why we as a people should really holler, yell or scream at one another is when someone is lost or hard of hearing and not for correction although it works. It is a tool used to get immediate and responding attention in an expedient and quicker way, because it causes a person or anything to really listen to what is being said, which is why my first wife knew what to do when she was about to make a mistake although she did not hear my Voice as to what I was trying to tell her before we made the mistake of getting a divorce or the mistake of hearing the voice that screamed at me before we got married I knew that when we were getting married, standing at the altar, that I should have ran out of the door that presented itself to me, meaning the door seemed to have been moving toward me when I should have been moving toward it because When we were getting married all of a sudden something happened to me when the pastor told her to put the ring on my finger.

She then tried to make it fit on the wrong finger "if it don't fit, don't force it, just relax and let it go" so now I know that I should have met the door more than half way! when ever opportunity knocks don't just let it knock answer it. It might have some interesting news to offer either to help you or hurt you and if it's an opportunity to hurt you, it's not an opportunity at all, but is the adversary trying to trick you; you are the only one that can answer it for yourself, your nose is the only nose opened to the fragrance only you can smell. Nobody or no one else can tell you any difference, it's the sense only you can smell and when that happens everything and anything else does not matter, we all have to learn from our own mistakes and if we don't learn then we will always find ourselves right back where we started from, "the beginning". In other words, your nose has become opened as if you've had peppermint, and also in other words can't anybody tell you anything for the imagination have taken over the desires of the heart.

You cannot love someone effectively if they do not effectively love you the same. For Instance, if you are getting married for the love the two have for each other and share the same affection for one another, it will work, but not until then. If you get married just because your friend got married or because of what someone told you or just because, Men, you got her pregnant or Ladies you tricked him by telling him you're on the pill and know you're not, you just want to get a free meal ticket/welfare, and just are and have become confusion in life for others but are only right for yourself, yet is still wrong for others, well it's the wrong way to get things done and it is selfish behavior.

When involving someone in your mess that had no clue it is simply devilish and witty. Some things are true in a relationship and some are not, there should be no secrets involved in a relationship unless it's going to be a surprise to make the others heart happy, there should always be a plan in everything that happens, no one needs to be tricked into something they had no clue or idea of they did not ask for.

Whenever a baby is involved in any plan or whenever a baby is going to be involved in a relationship it takes two people, It takes a man and a woman, "not a sperm donor" it was not the way of God and not two of the same sex "it corrupts the nature of God" but it would cause what would be a problem, not for the Mother or for the Father, but for "The baby" it seems as if
everyone forgot about the innocent child, which is why we don't think of what's good for others but, because of our own selfish ways, it is probably one of the reasons why we have such a corrupt world and as per the system in the world now is, because we did not pay attention to what was going on around us.God made woman for man and not man for woman, he also did not make man for man nor woman for woman because if he would have then there would not have been any way the world would be able to replenish itself, so he made Eve from Adam and they multiplied the land of promise.

Example is! (Isaiah 1:18-20) that says Come now and let us reason together, said the Lord: though your sins be as scarlet, they shall be as white as snow;(meaning though you have made a mistake, it shall be forgiven and remembered no more), they shall be as white as snow, (meaning it will be as if nothing ever happen and you are Scott free but don't practice sinning God is not a Dummy he is a forgiving God that and yes he loves you and us all but we must remember that he said that heaven and earth will pass but his word will never pass and it will establish everything it was sent out to do as you will see in scripture later on so then though they "meaning your sins" be as crimson, they shall be as wool.

Listen though we or you live a wormy life God's call to repentance will clean you up wash you or the two of you as white as snow which means to purify you and cause you to be acceptable in his sight the bible said to let's come together, but instead of us coming together, we are running each other away from each other simply because life presents itself to be better on the other side after we have met the one we are suppose to be with, but the Devil is a liar and the truth is not in Him and we will talk about him a little later.

The bible says to those of you that don't and probably have never picked up a bible to read it, then this is what it says and make sure you research it for yourself, ask God to give you his wisdom, his knowledge and his understanding so that you will know that I am telling you the truth and not just believe what I am telling you which is the wise way of doing things I believe and come to find out anyway, verse 19 says that if we be willing and obedient, you shall eat the good of the land which Means you don't have to be in the state you're in only if you pay attention and be obedient to his word despite of what anyone else says because you know for yourself, but be open to hear because we don't know it all and if we did know it all then we would not be trying to help one another and if so then you would not be reading this book right at this very moment or else you would put it down but if its helping continue reading it gets better.

The bible says that if we refuse and rebel, that we shall Be devoured with the sword: for the mouth of the Lord have spoken it. Peter cut off one of the soldier's ears after Judas portrayed him, Jesus told him that the sword you live by is the sword you shall die by, meaning for us to treat others the way we want to be treated because the way you treat people will make its rounds and fall right back on the one that presented it which will not be pretty unless you did the right thing and treated them like they are a human verses an animal rather than subjecting them to inhumane treatment.

BEHAVIORS OF LIFE AND RELATIONSHIPS

Everybody wants to be treated as if they exist and are a person, and should be treated as such. Even the mentally challenged person because they have feelings too and not just about feeling but it's about you and who you are and if you're a person or an animal. Perhaps maybe one of Satan's empts, in His regards He will use anyone who allows Him to come in and either have a seat at the breakfast, lunch, or dinner table in your bedroom, in your bed. It doesn't matter to Him as long as He gets what He wants and first of all He should not even be allowed in the most sacred place in your house that belongs to you and your husband or to you and your wife, whichever way it comes it is sacred to the both of you it is private and is the most sacred in the house for when God made Adam He made Eve t lie down beside him in a sacred place and there were no one else there to accompany her or him.

The throne and inner court of your home is the bedroom and alter where things are rectified and are free from any stain or blemish it is your sanctuary a place of praising each other, 2 Corinthians 7:4 is to be looked up in your bible to find the answer when it comes to who has control over their bodies according to God's standards. The word of God also tells us to not let the sun go down on our wrath/anger don't go to bed angry with or at each other. Ephesians 4:31 tells us "let all bitterness, wrath, anger, clamor, and evil speaking be put away from you, with all malice, verse 26 tells us that we can be angry but, without sinning. It tells us not to let today turn into tomorrow and you're still angry with each other, for if you do then you have already given praise to the enemy your father, "The Devil" who will never be for you but is always against you in everything you do and is laughing at you in and to your face in which you cannot see he has already stolen your joy, your peace and your happiness you once had.

The enemy never is there for you, but is always against whatever you do that's good or try to do that which please God, whenever you try to do something good he is there to prevent you, when you know you should give God praises, He is there to try and stop you, whenever you thought you made up your mind no matter what may have came your way, although he is not Omni present, His empts are spread abroad, for when God created the family He told them to not let anything or anybody cause you to separate, but and if one decides that they are leaving and have tried their very best to keep the family together and there is nothing else they can do, just remember you cannot hold anyone against their will or hostage, neither can they hold you against your will or hostage, as not trying to justify, but understand what the bible has to say when it tells us according to the book of 1^st Corinthians 7:15, it tells us that is if you are a believer ,and if the unbeliever departs, let them depart, for a brother or sister is not under bondage in such cases for God has called them to peace.

As an advisor of things gone through these are from the one who has gotten his home invaded and taken, for the thief come to kill, steal and destroy, it's in there and is better than Prego try it in the book of "John 10:10" the Family Wrecker, He presents himself as The one, according to 2^nd Corinthians 11:14 and declares that we should not be surprised or marvel because in all his ways in whatever ways they may be he will show himself as The one but he is disguised as an angel of as an angel of light in order to get Gods' precious treasure then he would come looking like he has everything you need, (woman or man), for the eye is sometimes deceiving to the human's eye because he knows what it takes to steer you away from what is real and is the real thing although he makes it look appealing to you, it seems like the right thing to do, it smells like the right thing to do and like I Said, it presents itself to yours or a person's thought.

Prime example, Proverbs 23:7 tells us for as he or she thinks in their heart, so is he or she paraphrased because what goes for one goes for the other in most cases when it comes to doing the right Thing. So then it says for us to eat and drink, Said he to thee (thee meaning you) but his heart is not with you. Whatever happens in a relationship and however it happens we should be mindful of the jealous one who is your adversary and not your advocate for he is not a friend of any. Even before getting yourself into a relationship pay attention always as to what is going on around you at all times, simply because the grass is truly not greener on the other side but it is unseen in its true Identity. What looks good on the outside is not always the way it is on the inside, but is the exact opposite.

The bible tells us that whatever you sow, that will you also reap (meaning whatever you plant is what will grow,) That's if you planted it in good soil, you can't just give or tell everything. It's like giving a fat kid too much cake and has caused them to die or suffocate one step at a time, whenever anyone presents himself or she as the one, believe it because they just might be the one you probably should not have given a Chance. Who knows? These things can also be tricky saying that to say that 2 Corinthians 2:14 says and no marvel; in my meaning marvel is to says, don't be surprised because Satan himself is transformed into and looks like an angel of light and looks promising but in his mind for you is as rotten as the cores of Hell and is only meant for your evil and not good.

The bible says in the book of Genesis 50:20, but as for you, you thought evil against me; but God meant it unto good, "My good" to bring to pass, as it is this day, to save much alive (Meaning whatever a person tries to do to me that is not right, God will turn it around and make it right on your behalf) Especially if you serve him faithfully because the bible is not, I believe for those who have nothing to do with him Because of their own ways and situations.

Psalms 105:15, touch not mine anointed, and do my prophets no harm! It also says in the Synoptic Gospels, Matthew, Mark, and Luke, Matthew 18:6, Mark 9:42, and Luke 17:2, warning unto offenders of these little ones of God for it will be better that he meaning she also that it would be better for them if they were hanged about their necks and cast into the sea than for them to offend one of his and he refers to his as little one, which is good because in comparison we are his little ones that he cares for and Loves. As the time goes by, so does life. It just keeps going even until the end of time or when God calls his little children home for comfort in him or when he is fed up with the things we just never learn from. It's no doubt in my mind, that Pharaoh could have been a better person but he was just like some of us, stubborn and declining to take a chosen position giving to him.

Romans 1:28-30 says for as they did not like to retain God in their knowledge, God gave them over to a reprobate mind, to do those things that were not convenient being filled with unrighteousness, fornication, wickedness, covetousness, maliciousness, full of envy, murder, debate, deceit, malignity,; and whisperers,
backbiters, haters of God, despiteful, proud, boasters, inventors of evil things, disobedient to their parents, without understanding, covenant breakers, without natural affection, implacable and Unmerciful. So I moved forward in my life, I found out that it's not about how beautiful a person is or what her height, size, or complexion is but it's about who she Is. He or they are inwardly but what is important is that two people that are trying to get to know each other should at least have a good understanding of one Another. Even to a point where if one cries the other feels the pain and help ease the pain and not help the pain to progress or continue, but be there for each other simply because it is what's supposed to happen and the way it's supposed to be according to what the bible has to say about it.

Ephesians 5:25-28, Husbands, love your wives, "question is, who are you loving?" even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it; that he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word {when one hurts and are in pain, the other should always be there for them as if they were a part of their own bodies and not treat it as if it needed to be cut off or thrown away or something, but, as If it was your own bodies} that he might present it to himself a glorious church, not having spot, or wrinkle, or any such thing; but that it should be holy and without blemish spots or wrinkles so ought men to love their wives as their own bodies.

He that loves his wife loves himself, for no man ever yet hated his own flesh and bones, but nourishes it and cherishes it even as the lord the church, for this cause shall a man leave his father and mother and shall be joined unto his wife, And they shall be( One Flesh) and as it is said, what's good for the goose is good also for the gander which is why this second sayings exist according to which really is not the second saying, but is the first that says, that marriage is symbolic to the church in the 22^nd verse of the 5^th chapter of Ephesians, wives submit yourselves unto your own Husbands, as unto the Lord. Also the bible tells us to submit ourselves, one to another, in the fear of the Lord, and this is the reason why we as people should be willing to give a little and wait and not be so ready to receive anything simply because love takes care of itself if you treat it right, meaning if you give it the way you would like to receive It. Many times when we look at what we are doing, meaning self are doing then we can never see what we are doing, meaning the two together, whatever happened to the vow, meaning the original vow?

BONDING: first of all men don't bond, only women and or a woman and a man or mother and child.

When two people somehow come into the agreement that the two of you would love each other as yourself, whatever happened to "until death do us part" and better than that, whatever happened to those promises that were made and if they were made, were they the truth or were they for the spare of the moment, or was it because you did not want to let your friends down or is it because you did not run out of the door when you were supposed to? A lot of things could have been avoided if the two people were truthful enough to really let the real feeling come out to one another. As far as to what they really feel about each other and not just for the spare of the moment or to please their friends, family or whoever else as the one you promised to spend the rest of your entire life with.

Now, getting back to one flesh, we should always treat the other as you would like to be treated and not like they are just another person fresh from out of the street living in boxes and eating out of the trash. If we love people that love to be loved, should know how to love one another the same as we want to be loved, treating one another as if it was you, and when the bible said, women, love your husbands.

The way I see it is that women as well as men should touch each other for it is God's plan which is why we mess up, when we stop touching each other like we did when we couldn't wait to get each other in the bed. We should never lose that intimacy for one another because it means that the fire is going out and why should the fire go out unless somebody put it out or somebody saw another fire that seemed to burn brighter or longer. And you are no longer a two minute man but someone else who has built a fire that really has no heat to it, just flames and that's what happens we see the flames.

No more fire, the fire and the flame that you have seen and went into is the same one with the same fire and flame that burns even the same and the one you accepted is still lit. So then the fire and flame is the same and perhaps even brighter and hotter and the reason why it's not the same to you is because you have been blindfolded and cannot see the truth. (Romans 1:24,25). Wherefore God gave them up to because of the lust of their own hearts, to dishonor their own bodies between themselves. So then who changed the truth of God into a lie and worshiped and served the creature more than the Creator, who is blessed forever? (Amen verse 26 thru 27) For this cause, God gave them up unto vile Affections, for even their women did change the natural use into that which is against nature, and likewise also the men, leaving the natural use of the woman, burned in their lust toward one another.

TOUCH NOT

Men with men working that which is unseemly, and receiving in themselves that (recompense) - penalty of their error which was (meet) due to them.

The book of Leviticus 18:22-23 says that you should not lie with mankind, as with womankind: it is abomination 23. Neither shall you lie with any beast because it causes you to be defiled, neither should a woman stand before a beast to lie down with (thereto), it is confusion. In other words, when we stop respecting our significant others, our wives and or our husbands, the enemy of God has already put thoughts in our minds such as "I don't need this", "I can't do this", "you make me sick" and or "you make me want to vomit" and or any other disgusting downsizing words, it does not help or make it any. A relationship is supposed to last and it really should never, ever, should it ever be about you, it is called the label of selfishness and self centered.

Ways not be negative towards one another, is trying to understand another before letting the enemy get the best of you is not running away from each other, running away does not solve the problem it enhances the problem or encourages because it, the problem is not solved until you or a person excepts the fact that they themselves might even be the problem, it is still there, where ever you go it's there because it has not been solved and it will remain there until it's solved. some people think they're slick because of their smooth words as they makes its way to the heart the ears itch to hear more that's useful for the time being or for that purpose and time fitting to put in your ears, because that's all the words are smooth, that will slip right into another's ear as well, after all they're slippery and when anything is slippery it can't keep still, there's a saying is; loose lips, sink ships, anything that has no substance has no quality, and anything that h has no quality has no quantity which means it will not amount to a hill of beans or a nickel worth of dog meat.

Sometimes we get into relationships for some or all of the wrong reasons, some people get into relationships because of what the other can do for them and not for what they can bring to the table.(Isaiah 1:18-20) A relationship should never be about me, me, me but about us, us, us, "twain" two people and not just one person; it's not about a feeling, it's about being true to yourself and your partner, if it's just about self it's just not going to work, there's only one person involved with the other one hanging on a string a puppet-like figure "pull my string and I'll do anything". When I move, you move, and without me you can't move, don't speak until I pull your string.

Sometimes people will and or because of their figure, looks, shapes and sizes, think that that's all they need. Buying things with their looks in which no one can really do unless you're advertising. Money can buy pretty much anything that is for sale, but it takes real love to find real love, pretend love is fake love and can't portray real love, it can look like it, it can also feel like it, but real love come from within your heart, your character and you inner being, it when two hearts beats as one, it's call soul mating felling the desires of one another's needs, their pains and their emotions and not wanting to hurt each others in no kind of a way.

The bible lets me know that the wolf comes in sheep clothing, meaning it can look like the real thing but underneath is deceit, blasphemy and lies. Mathew 7:15 calls them ravening wolves, he also tells us to beware, of false prophets who will approach as a shining star, so as your imagination, so as he or she will appear but inwardly they are raven wolves. This is simply saying and is telling us to look out for those who say that they are someone that they really are not. The story tells us to look out for fakers and haters, look out for those that pose as a rose when they are a dandelion, something that only looks pretty or beautiful is really plotting for a kill or to kill without warning and have everything that is required when all the while if the truth came out it would be the meanness thing that could ever be done to anything or anybody.

Haters hate to love as well as loves to hate which is a misconception of the haters mind as if whatsoever they want is suppose to be theirs without warnings and as if things are suppose to just because of who they are or what their names are. Who are you? I am reminded of a story of one that was so beautiful and pleasant to be around that played music unimaginative to the hearing of the ears itself.

He played music that healed, to a point if the dead heard it they would raise to the sound of it. He played the kind of music that would send you on a journey that you would never want to come off of Reminiscing the very sound. He or She played the sound of instruments never heard of, made or ever came to the thoughts of anyone's mind of suggestions or recommended he/she could make the sound of music that would make a dog talk and a cat to walk on its hind legs and a horse to gallop a bird to walk and never to fly again because of the music being so relaxing. A lot of the times we would because of good sounding music would let it captivate us and cause us to lose out on what we had but now is lost, so you got what you wanted, but you lost what you had and what you had was indeed all you needed.

Whenever someone is confused it's because they have lost their contact with the world and have no pleasure in things that are good for themselves or for the lack of other's, a hater is someone who has not experienced love or has been taught love, but instead has been taught the opposite of what the true meaning of true love really is. A hater is one who does not like to see anyone have anything that he or she does not have that have not turned into something else other than what they are themselves. People described here are those that are envious, conniving and an untrusting person because of their desire to hurt and not love.

A double minded man/person is unstable in all his ways James 1:8. How can you have two brains or two minds? You can't and that's what makes it so monstrous of a person within a person who is scary because it causes a person not to be him or herself which is why I believe it's not because of the full moon but it's because of the person him/herself allowing the enemy to speak to their mind. The full moon did not make you do it or act to anything, you did it.

There was a man that lived In a graveyard that was cutting himself time after time after time simply because he was so wrapped up into himself it was like it was just the natural thing to do for him. Sometimes we can get so wrapped up into ourselves that we forget about the one's that we really love and care about that causes lots and lots of chaos. It's time to come out of the graveyard in other words it's time to come from out of yourselves, which is selfishness and get a life amongst the living and come out from amongst them and be ye separate. We have become the walking dead amongst the one's that really loves us and have cast them away as if they never exist.

The Devils home once was heaven, he knows what it's like there and because we are the redeemed of the lord and heaven can now be our home, he does not like it and don't want you to have a part of it. Mark 5:5 tells us that there was a man that was always, night and day that lived in the mountains, and in the tombs, crying and cutting himself with stones. Sometimes we as a people would cut ourselves when we give in to smooth talking people not knowing that those are the ones to watch, watch them.

SECOND chapter in my LIFE

Ten years have now passed after the woman of my life who gave me everything I have ever asked for or that every man desire to have as it seemed. Everything's in place from top to bottom, I mean the cups, are sitting right. The hinder parts are in place, the facial structures intact, what else can you ask for? order was in place, but then as time passed so did everything else fell into the hands of another that had the same similar promises as the first it only looked more rewarding with better promises that was caused by a blind spot "greed" greed will cause anyone or anybody to failed because nothing's really changed, it's just that reality was not in check greed and emotions and the feeling of the need to have and to hold that which was not yours for the beginning anyway. Just because the star is bright does not mean it shines, it's just glowing wondering who sees it, and it's a flirting star that have the same characteristics only a chameleon never can stay the same or tell the truth.

Order what is it? That seemed to be brighter or better. The same star or spark that was seen before is still there. Beware of the wolf that wears sheep clothing. whereas the first was the order that was not in sheep clothing, but was the clothing with the sheep in it, which was the real thing that also failed to see the truth and will not see it if it was staring at you right in the face, we only see what we want to see which can also cause blindness if we keep walking with our eyes closed to what's reality and what's not we will continue walking towards and if we are not careful we will walk off and over the cliff without any knowledge of it being there, because we refuse to see the truth, it's there but the enemy have taken over your natural and spiritual site and have assumed control.

The bible says that we have eyes to see but see not, it tells us also that we have ears to hear but they work not, paraphrased, which simply says in Matthew 11:8 tells us that according as it is written, because of their desires for things that seems right to them God have given them, the spirit of slumber, eyes that they should not see, and ears that they should not hear; unto this day.

Even as you read this insert, remember that also the bible tells us that eyes have not seen and the ears have not heard, neither have entered in the heart of man, the things which God have prepared for them that love him simply because a real man will give his all, even his last shrimp or caviar dish, meaning he will give his last favorite whatever to the one he truly loves and will share with her his life story to her, and will entrust her with it because he cares for her even shares the deepest things with her because he loves her and really feels she loves him back the same, if not more. Which reminds me of the Song R Kelly wrote, he wrote when a woman loves a man she loves him for real and I believe that to be true. I also believe that when a man, loves, a woman he loves her for real because he gives her his whole heart and not just a portion, which is the real reason why a man lose his mind when a woman betrays him and the love he shares with her. So now the man is still a man but is not so in some cases, whereas in other cases he lives out the meaning of what he has been renamed, (A Dog who no longer can be a real man but a Dog).

Even his own mother has renamed him unknowingly because she has accepted the fact that he too is a Dog because of how she have been treated by others, not knowing that he has been mistreated by a woman that took advantage of his true self at one point. Sometime we have to be more careful of how we treat people because it will come right back on us unexpectedly. If you don't like being called any other names other than the name you was given when you were born with, then why call others out of theirs? We need to really learn how to treat each others as we would like to be treated. I understand that some of us really don't know how to do that. It just simply depends on how a person was raised, it starts at home. No home training equals any respect, and no respect totals any regards to others, other than self, which promotes selfishness.

Deceitfulness

The Dog chases the Cat which is why now the Dog hides, but the Cat covers up who is the cat?, which I think Is wrong when the hidden is found, it proves and confirms the hurt, when the buried is dug up which was covered, it stinks worse than the hidden because the hidden was not covered up, just hidden and able to breathe but whatever is covered up will become stale, stagnated and funky and cause you to gag when it is dug up, because now it have been given the chance to decay and rotten because of the lack of being able to breath, which is what I believe is why when in a relationship things have been buried and hidden for so long, it has started to stank and bring forth the impurity of self being as once was before because now room needed to breathe is now in effect.

"I need some time": what does that mean? I have seen someone I like and want to try, or you are crowding me too much, you don't turn me on like you did the first time, or you're not enough of being a bad boy for me (meaning I want someone to take charge) I want an actor or someone that can at least pretend to be someone he is not Or someone to control but not totally, the whole thing about a relationship is that a woman don't want to feel that she is any less of a person than a man is which is another reason why a woman want to do a man's job as well as sometimes wear the pants in the home and that's alright to a certain extent as long as she knows her place as a person and I don't mean that in a negative sense but a positive one which is the same to say.

If a woman knows her place as a woman and a man knows himself as a man and the children if there is any, are taught their places as children of the family, will navigate the reality of a real all American, all Spanish, Chinese, Japanese, natives, Africans or whatever nationality it may be will make the world a better place not only for one's self but for the whole wide world to navigate on, live off of, and respect and then the life that we live cannot only be a better one but be a more exciting one because then prayer will be back in school, discipline will be back in the home, love will be in the air, with the surroundings of peace, joy, happiness, and longsuffering, meaning sometimes we have to suffer the consequences of things that are going to happen.

Anyway, nothing is going to change if or unless we come together as real people that want a real life together with each other, sharing a life together, two people living a life as one, meaning ( if you are hurt I am hurt, if you are crying so am I, If you are mistreated so am I mistreated, if you are talked about in a bad way then so am I because you complement me and when you are seen then so am I, because I feel your pain and you feel my pain.

There are no secrets kept from each other because secrets shake foundations and when foundations are shaken, things are moved for the wrong reasons depending on the situation because when standing on a sure foundation, it is settled and are and has become un-removable like the tree besides the waters rooted and grounded whereas we have become as Jeremiah
17:9 puts it, for he shall be as a tree planted by the waters, and that spreads out her roots by the river, and shall not see when heat comes, but her leaf shall be green; and shall not be careful in the season of (drought), Drought meaning being damaged, to be damaged, neither shall cease from yielding fruits.

For the lord said that he is the Lord that searches the heart and tries the reins ruling parts and give to every man according to his ways and according to the fruits of his doings. In other words, the things we do as people will be charged, we will be accountable for our doings, and are responsible for our actions and will face the throne of God for the ultimate conclusions of the matter when facing the almighty rather we want to or not because then we have no say so, or repentance, because it would have been all said, done, and over with, which means too late to ask for forgiveness, if you have not repented.

As I moved forward in my life, ten years later, after a tormented experience with a person I thought I knew. Ten years went by pretty slow but then after I found out it really went by too fast because the pleasure of meeting someone else was constantly in my mind daily and a long story short, I met what I call the caviar of my life. I have watched in the tenth year of my life of being alone I met yet another one that was to be the last one, meaning until death us do part to the ending of our lives/my life or until one of us passes away, because a person should never get married just to say that they are married.

As I journeyed through life facing the truth, trying to be the best person anyone could ever ask for I found myself a good job while already working at a job for at least twelve years. I found another job and have been there for at least ten years and am now moving forward with my life, going to college to become a registered nurse. So after I met the caviar of my life in which I seen and wanted to talk to for the past two years finally got a chance to meet her, and it was a glorious occasion and a pleasure to meet her. At least I thought so.

We met by way of myself working at the same place she worked at became close acquaintances, myself working in one area of the company that we worked at found pleasure in her eyes when it came to me and herself. So one of the days I had to come in to work and she had to work, she then found a way to be able to work in the same area that I worked in and asked me if it was alright if she could work in the same area that I did, so with me saying inwardly, oh hell yeah! Thought to myself this could be the glamour of my whole life. So as the time went by she stopped asking if she could work in my area she just started coming and I started wondering, oh my God can she really be the woman I prayed for?

The right size and I am just being real in a man's mind and the way we most of the time think, if men would really fess up to the truth of how they really feel inside, but we can't because when we do things, it meaning our feelings, get tampered and played with by the ones we really care for and love with most of our heart and if I was not in the Lord I would say with all of my heart because it would just be simply the right and earthy thing to say and to do in order to let the woman know just how much we love them so when we learn that we cannot love a woman or a woman love a man with all of our heart, but God then and only then will we find out just how much we really love each other.

The bible tells us to put our trust in no man, the bible tells us in the book of Psalms 118:8 it is better to trust in the Lord than to put confidence in man meaning also woman. In the next verse, it tells us it also means even the so called Princes, which means to me the so call, pretty boys, and yes! Those who think they are all of that. When push comes to shove, it's pretty much what is being done, pushing and shoving and no real loving.

The bible clearly tells us in the book of Romans 7:15 For that which I allow not; for that I would, that do I not; but what I hate that do I, which is clearly saying even though the things that are being done, I detest it, but cannot control it, everything that not God like will have their day because I gave up the rights/access to my mind to him that rules and have given me feeling, I cannot refuse, yet I still do it. There are a lot of things we as people do that does not feel right and know is not right, yet we still do them simply because it gives us the right to do whatever we desire to do just to be able to think that we have accomplished something other than what we did as we grew up to be adults. We do those things that displease in order to please, which is blind pleasure. The bible asked a question and that question was and is who changed the truth of God into a lie?

There is nothing wrong with being independent but there is something wrong with going against authority. If we are told not to do this or that, why is it that we do just the opposite of what we were told not to do? It's all about a challenge or because we have arrived, or because we have overcome everything and don't have to listen to anyone because we have reached maturity or because we have gone through childhood and are so grown now that we don't need to listen to anyone anymore. What is it and why is it that we have become our own god and now have no one to repent to? Pharaoh had that same problem and because he had that same problem, he was rejected of God because his heart became hardened and his ears would not hearken to the voice of what was right which was and is God. A lesson to learn is to always listen before acting or reacting to something that don't even feel right, which is a reason not to listen to it because in your heart you know is not right anyway but because of selfishness, we give it a try because of a challenge.

The Worship

Who have worshiped? And served? Because of the things we do and are doing will cause us to lose out on what God has for us. In the next verse, it tells us that God gave them up unto vile affections: for even the women did changed the natural use Into that which is against nature, also because of people getting besides themselves thinking that they are all of that and that there is nothing anyone can tell them also left their natural use of the woman. Men with men working that which is unseemly, and receiving in themselves that which belongs to the woman whereas the bible says receiving in themselves that recompense thinking that it's a favor well done to excite someone other than God. It's time for us to wake up.

Noah preached in the wilderness for one hundred and twenty years crying out to the people that had ears, but did not get the big picture of what he really was saying and that was the same as today. He that hears will listen and he that listens will hear what is being said to them, but because of so many things going on in our lives, we are Too busy to hear what the Lord is truly trying to tell us in order For us to be able to hear his voice. So as I continue in my move forward looking and searching for that True love, me and what and who I thought was the love of my life was, We started talking learning and finding out more and what I thought Was more of each other we started dating. So for the first time in my life as I can remember thought it would be Nice to give her some roses to help kick the relationship off a little better, letting the words of the roses speak for me in a way.

So I bought her some roses in a mixed bouquet, some red some yellow, some white, and some pink, with the fact that I wanted them to speak for me, which was plain English to me saying that for the red that I want her to be mines just for me, for the love of life and the wanting and desires to romance her as if she and I had never been before, she was everything to me and all I ever wanted because I thought I needed her but she the biggest problem seem like ever. I'll tell you about it later why she became my problem and not my better half. Anyway, so then the bouquet was filled with different colors because they were not just because, they were absolutely beautiful, but, because of that and the meaning of them took me for a spin.

She was beautiful too but, I did not know her meaning that turned out to be, well I'll tell you about it later as well because it gets better. It gets better or is it for worst to whoever reads this. As I found out the meaning of the colors, it is as follows and was to the point: beauty is what I wanted, let alone understandings of the heart, I wanted more than I needed and it cause trouble in what I had "Paradise" that got me into trouble.

My wants outweighed my needs, and instead of getting or looking for what I needed, I looked more for what I wanted, which was not the real thing it was a "chameleon" the lookalike the "impersonator" that was in the form of what I was looking for, that had everything I had ever wanted and thought it was what I needed, I was more focused on the outer appearance, putting beauty over matter that had to be right and just because of the beauty and gratitude at the time which ended up being an act, an act I knew not of but was familiar with, it was the games I myself had in the pass also played in order to get my way but, thought it's got to be right because I was accepted of her, that also got me in a bind and a world f trouble because it presented itself to be all that I or any man needed but turned out to be a bag of bones with the coverings of ugliness covering it in which also became very disturbing.

The Enemy

The devil is anything that covers up the truth, he will give you a look-a-like, just what you didn't need or asked for. Some say the real McCoy or the real Amy please stand up or the real Jane and I'm Tarzan and the (monkey in the middle) causing all kinds of chaos, the shadow of depression in the midst of everything and not allowing anything to happen without her knowledge and knowing playing the role of (It) from The Addams Family just doing stupid things and making funny sounds.

As I thought about beauty, I thought about the Caviar of it all, that turned out only being a promised look-a-like that was just a look-alike nothing else, not real, just, was a pretender covered in paint not knowing it was only a cover up that I didn't know it was war paint verses paint on paint off for beauty. then wore nails of aggression not of suggestion that needed to be investigated having a fake persona that turned out to be unrecognizable and unreal that turned good taste to wasted taste, time that wasted everything that was advertised was only advertised to get attention.

It surely got my attention because it was just like the people that model to get the attention of the bystander so to speak, the models that model clothes that fits them only whereas advertised is real but is a fake and play game that alters the mind causing it to think and wonder What if? That lingers in the minds of those who are interested in what is seen, but when the paint starts to peel and the beauty is gone and the other side that was covered and starts to show and the stench starts to rise from being covered for so long, something never smelt before, then what? Sometimes as a person we would see things happening but we sometimes fell to take care of the problem. Why do we as a people fell to see the truth? I believe we don't like to see the truth if it appears to be something that will harm ourselves. Sometimes we need to see the truth as if it was ourselves and if we were in the same predicament. If we as a people was in a difficult, unpleasant or embarrassing situation we would hurry up and try to fix it because now we are feeling guilty, but why do we have to wait until it get to a point of almost no return?

The Truth

Sometimes we as people, because of our wants more than our needs, would tend to smell or see something uncommon so to say, would rather choose the uncommon rather than that which is common. Prime example is this biblically, is according to Romans 1:25 that asks us a question; which is who changed the truth Of God Into a lie? And worshipped and served the Creature more than the Creator? Who is blessed forever Amen? As we reach out to all of those things in which we know we can't have or which is forbidden such as, let's say someone who believes in something totally different from what you believe in, it will cause a world of a change in your life, no matter how much you might think that you are in love and yes love hurts some time, but not all of the time.

Every word that is said now is a joke or unreal and it seems like there is nothing you can say that is right, probably is not going to be right, it was ignored in the beginning when you thought you seen something and even though you saw it, you refused to believe what was seen is real and maybe it's not and it will change. My answer to that is that it is what it is and no, your eyes are not playing tricks with you, you're playing tricks on yourself and have allowed the mind to take over because it just can't be but if your eyes are the doorway to your soul, then your eyes are not playing games with you It's just time to wake up and smell the real world with all of its games and tricks being that it's the kingdom of the enemy who is the accuser of the brethren.

Revelations 12: 9-10 tells us that a great dragon was cast out, that old serpent, called the Devil, and Satan, which deceived the whole world: he was cast out into the earth, and his angels were cast out with him. And I heard a voice saying in heaven, now is come salvation, and strength, and the kingdom of God, and the power of his Christ: for the accuser of our brethren is cast down, which accused them before our God day and night, which is some of the reasons why we can't have everything we ask for because it's not good for us which is why the Devil and Satan was cast out and just like us will lose our relationship and put away for the use of the other. Michael, the archangel and his angels according to Revelations 12:7 says that it was because of a misunderstanding which caused a war to break out because Michael fought against the dragon whose name was Lucifer, heaven's beauty, the one who was in the presence of God at all times and filled heaven with his beauty was thrown or kicked out of heaven and prevailed not.

Neither was there place found any more in heaven for him. Which is when we are trying out for a relationship? We should not test the waters but try the water. In other words we should not just jump into anything without knowing something about that person, place or thing before praying and listening to our inner man/person because it does not lie. I jumped into a relationship that looked like it had a whole lot of promises, the woman who became the wife prepackaged with children in whom her beauty and her heart caught my attention That later lead to us hooking up things were said, things were done, and thing that should have been done and not done was just the opposite.

The woman and her ethnicity I had prayed for was finally coming to fruition, she was all I ever wanted and needed, at least I thought. As we met at the work place, she began to ask me if she could work in my work place in the same station and it was very nice. I talked a little, and we just started to talk and getting more and more comfortable with each other and I started making plans in trying to figure out what should I do being that I had not dated for over ten years due to a divorce and was just really tired of getting misused because of my kindness thought it was about time to put the past behind so we started dating and to her surprise maybe two months later, a bouquet of flowers representing every color in expressions of my feelings was given to her because of how I started to feel. She showed the same desire but as I learned her desire was not the desire to have that which is good but to her and not as well.

I became the prey and not something that was prayed for but she had become something I had prayed for, at least I thought. So red roses were purchased along with yellow and blue roses that meant a lot to me, my way of expressing myself with the hope of her knowing, being the intelligent person she seemed to be, would understand being that the red roses for me has the tendencies of red crimson. It sticks to you forever and will not let go of you even if you let go of it. It also says the same about what I was feeling which was (wow) love in a big way that lead me to doing things like going out of my way to please her, take care of her, wait on her, rub her feet, massage her when she's hurting, talk to her when she was feeling down so in my own words, I did everything in my power to help her to be the first and far most priority on my life, doing what I had to do to please her, whatever it took. That's why things didn't last because of one side pulling and the other side pushing. Two wrongs does not make a right and as well as it takes two to tangle, it also takes two heads that have come together to figure things out together.

The Three Roses

The yellow rose: represents friendship, joy, and patience, dying love which brings one to believe that they were embarking upon a love unbreakable, a love that last forever, a love that allows dreams to come true, a love that's untouched, that sees no hate, no pain, no regret, but a love that does the exact opposite, a love that is only touched by the ones who possesses it and cherishes it, cares for it, does not regret it, that lives forever inside and out, a love that helps the hurt and not create the pain, a love that is love indeed and truly is for the one in which it was pledged to and no other, it is seen, felt not blind, love that is heard, love that is listened to, love that is jealous, not painful, although it will be painful at some point and times in life when it is not understood, love will sometime hurt, but only for correction not deception, it's called true "Benadryl love" love that takes the itch and the pain, perhaps swellings away from crying eyes, charity is sometimes long suffering, but is kind; though it envies not itself meaning it is not stuck up and does not just care for itself but for others as well.

It does not vaunt itself and is not puffed up. Love does not behave itself unseemly, and does not seeks its own, meaning it's not just all about self but is loving and caring for one another and most of all love is not so easily provoked to anger, especially when it is confronted with either the anger of the significant other or any others that are interfering with it, and does not listen to an interferer. Also, love rejoices in the truth and not heresy, for love bears all things for better or for worst, it hopes for the best of all things and not the worst, love is everlasting and it never fails, anything else in life will fail, but love will never fail and will be with you forever. God said in his words that he will be with you even until the end of time. The bible tells us that God is love, so then if God is love and if we love one another, then it will never fail, it never fails, it is the frailty of the human that does fail, and see things, hear things, and listen to things other than what they are suppose to listen to.

Eve listened to a snake rather than her husband and God and even though God put the man in charge and if instructions' were given, and was not kept, if befalls the two that are engaged, because if they was twain before and have tied the knot are no longer twain but have became as one, should know what the other would go for and what they would not as per the same, if you have said I do, then I do continues and never stops because of anything simply, because the fire that was lit by a particular match can only be lit by that same match because it was the one that initially started the fire in the first place, anything other than that is not real, only a look alike and is not better, only different, it's only a "let me see if I have the power to devour."

Blue roses: A mystery that attains to the impossibilities which is love at first sight. There are no true blue roses, which is very well true, but there can be true commitment if anyone love themselves and know how they would like to be loved, they would know how to treat others, is it the same? Yes, it is the same when a person loves and this is in my own opinion, when you hurt your better half should also feel the hurt if you are soul mates and really are trying to make things work for the better, so I hurt, if you cry, I cry, I cry because I don't want you to cry, it's more than an emotional thing, it's me wanting you to feel and get better, when you feel down I also feel down, whenever you are feeling down and out and if I am not, then something's wrong, "examine yourself" if you are talked about, I am also talked about etc. it's simple if you are talked about, you represents me and I you, therefore I am talked about as well, It's called a soul mate.

Moving through life as the days, months, and years past, after seven months have passed by there's a possible wedding, that came in due time as life waits for no one. A marriage that could have waited a little while longer, but because of certain things happened things changed and now you are doing things together, things that started to grow little by little, things are now commencing and things are coming together, now comes the comforting one to another, if there are children involved, things are worked out together.

We celebrated life together as couples would do and as being committed to each other, What's done behind the closed doors of a man and his wife/woman is undefiled, which means everything that could be done whatever it was, was not a problem in God's eyes because you are married, because marriage is sacred in God's eyes and whatever is not is secret so to say in the devil's eyes, which is not Godly. the devil will do anything in his power to try an over power what god has for his people and it would not be a problem for him to take away, you see he is just the opposite of what God is, who multiplies, but the Devil subtracts.

It's because of the love a person has for each other that keeps the flames and passion going for each other. So as time grew older and time pass the enemy will bring it to pass of the old things that seems like is being done over and over again starts to make a person want to start trying and searching for new things, even with a new person that seems right at the time, but is not, so it starts things to grow apart, you start hearing too much negativity and start saying and talking too much, and then suddenly stop doing things together which is the first trick of the enemy even at the wedding believe it or not.

Then there came whisperers and togetherness I knew not of. We took a place to live we should not have done because; first of all it cost too much to pay out monthly. She wanted it and because she wanted it, we got it in order to bring pleasure to her I did whatever it took, even if it made myself miserable knowing we can't afford it, long story short, We lost our income tax because the head of the house hold was filed, money was collected, things were bought. We were satisfied but then when I filed and because head of the household was filed We had to pay back and in our paying back, the other side started to show, the unseen side, the side never seen before showed up, the smell started to rise, the beauty started to not be so beautiful, the language changed from sweetness to bitterness, the heart started to pump more than just blood. So now there was no beauty to be found anywhere, the beauty was cast out along with everything that came with it that also tried to take over, rule and control.

Disrespect validates the unknown things that happen every now and then, things heard were no longer heard, things seen no longer seen, which brings up a question, "was there any love"! and if there was, what happened to it? When the same person that was met had and still have the same qualities and is the same person that was seen and brought a sparkle to the eyes of the beholder and had not changed, but has been rearranged in regards to the way things was actually seen in the beginning, it brought change, because of things that was whispered into the ear of the willing listener and the things about people that whisper are things said that should not be heard, "anything that's whispered is a secret and secrets are not of God" for the simple fact because primarily it is not true words when you have to whisper into someone's ear, not by the one whispering them or anyone else, it causes confusion. The bible tells us to beware of dogs and whisperers it also tells us in the book of Philippians in the third chapter second verse, beware of dogs, beware of evil workers, and beware of the concision. In other words, watch out for those that will take your good, mutilate it, and change it to be what they would want it to be and once the damage is done, it's just like your worst enemy, smile in your face and talk behind your back.

Red Roses: the red rose portrays beauty" what is beauty? beauty can be either outer or inner appearance, whereas the outer is just something beautiful to look upon only in most cases, it gives intense pleasure and or deep satisfaction to the mind," also it's just an appearance, whereas "the inner beauty is the and includes kindness, empathy, sympathy, compassion and true love, passion courage and true respect. It says congratulations I love you despite of the circumstances, I love and desire to have and to hold. In Christianity, it is symbolized as the suffering of Jesus on the cross during his crucifixion that shows how much he loves us in whom came to die, giving his own life whichever way you look at it, love is love whereas in the bible, tells us that God is love. 1^st John 4:16 that states in the second clause that God is love; and he that dwells in love, dwells in him and the love of God lives in him, him being whoever it is that dwells in him. Red is the color of blood as we know it although it is not really red until it hits the air which is the reason it turns and changes, which is just like love whenever it loses its power, things change, love becomes stale, incomplete and powerless, has no more interest to live throughout its promises.

Things that turns into hatred, and forgiveness, can't be trusted and is foul. Whenever there's a power loss in anything, life is lost and cannot be recharged unless there is a sincerity of forgiveness a sense of realness, it would have never happened, because there is life, love, forgiveness, and the sharing of love. There is love time after time after time, forever and forever and is a never ending story no longer a fantasy, yet it is but, only with the one you truly love and nothing else and or nobody else because it will be the two that will have it for each other. There are times in life that things seems to be better or maybe even perhaps looks better than anything in any others' eyes but are not, and are just in your mind and only last for a limited and not unlimited amount of time and as long as you keep the same love for one another as before, the fire will never go out simply because if you know what you have, you can never lose what you found.

Whisperers and Games

Beware of those that whisper because the word of God tells us in the book of psalms 41:7 that all that hate me whisper together against me: and against me do they devise my hurt/pain. The book of Proverbs 16:18 states that even the closest of friends will separate, it will separate you even from your best friends forever because it actually tells us that a forward man/person sows strife: and a whisperer separates even chief friends. So then, when all of this is going on you, are then running into not only haters of God, but they, even your best friends have now become or became your worst enemy because if anyone that is supposed to be your friend, does not go behind your back and say things to others about you they wouldn't say to your face.

The word of God tells us that to befriend the world is to become enmity to him and are not a friend to him but an enemy. In the book of James Chapter 4:4 where it tells us and calls us adulterers and adulteresses, know ye not that the friendship of the world is enmity with God?

Whosoever therefore will be friend of the world is the enemy of God, in the book of Deuteronomy 5:9, for I the Lord, your God, is a consuming fire, even a jealous God and my main point of the matter of what I am trying to get the reader of this book to see is that whenever you are about to get involved in a relationship; try to learn something about each other before you seriously think about getting into a relationship because people will get involved with you most of the time I would say, is because of loneliness and not because of love, because there is a difference in loneliness and feeling real love because it's another way of getting trapped into something you really don't want or need.

A lot of the times, because we as people feel something that feels like love, we will tend to believe that it is and there is nothing's wrong with that except you know for yourself what is real love and what is not, simply because it gets a lot of people in trouble, Sampson became lonely and it caused him his eyes and his strength, also caused him his integrity as well, because in doing what he did, which was playing games because of his self-pride, it also caused him his life which also is or can be called playing with fire" (Enemy).

The Games: Whenever you play games in trying to trick others or trying to make others jealous of self selfishness we end up losing, knowing that evil never wins anything no matter how hard it tries. Whenever anyone tries to rush or is always in a hurry to get somewhere or to do something to or for someone then it will pay to look at his or her life history. It never hurt to ask questions because it will determine one's future.

In the way I think, there are simple things we as people who really want to be or get serious in a relationship is to get to know each other no matter what because your life depends on it and so does your future with the fact that children might play an important part in and the bible tells us to train up a child in the way that he or she should go, so that when they are grown ups, they would not have very much to worry about whereas when two people have come together and have for surely have fallen in love with each other would be able to raise their children without the fact that they would do anything else that will cause embarrassment or disgrace simply because it was never meant for anyone to step in and take the job of another man or woman unless they have passed on to the next life, which is why things don't really work out in the manner it was intended to be and how can you know even if it seems to be very good and if it is very good, then imagine how much better it could or would be if everything was in the place it was intended to be.

I understand that is no one person is perfect, true that, but we strive to perfection whereas others, just because things are not going their way, it makes them think that it's not right. We have become lookers on those that are outside looking in on another's life and then tries to change theirs or get jealous of the others life and if we know them and have not been too much of a friend but an enemy, will try and cause mischief in the others life simply because yours not right. So when we know what we want but not to the extreme to a point whereas accusations are then we would find real love, joy, and peace with not only God but also with your family, the people around you.

Those you didn't think thought anything about you will have to come forth, because the bible tells us that he will make our enemies our footstool and that he will heat up coals on the head of your enemies and will cause them to behave and drop their weapons and flee. God declares he has never seen the righteous forsaken nor his or her children begging for bread or anything. He even claimed us by saying and telling us that he is our God and we are his children and the last but least he lets us know that he will be with us even until the end.

Reality check:Regards to what anyone thinks you your moms, dad, cousins Aunts or Uncles think, it all comes down to whomever is involved in a relationship, it is clearly recommended that as a couple there should not be anyone or anything allowed to come between what's already good, what you see is what you get in a relationship despite what anyone else thinks, a relationship should always depend on what each other thinks and not what someone else thinks because they are not a part of that relationship and does not have to deal with the other party of that relationship after it is all over said and done with.

Whenever a relationship is in view or is about to begin, the two should already know one another and yes we know that opposite attracts, but what we don't know is that souls connect too as well which is how soul mates are formed because they connect, they know each other but are seldom ignored because of the fear of communication and the hurt that happened before, and the only reason hurt happened before is because of the fact that the heart was not listened to but was ignored and instead of helping it caused hurt and distrust, that caused the mind to start building a wall, it even offered names such as, you're no good, I hate you, all men are the same, nothing but dogs, don't have no back bone, walls being built, it is with the man, saying that all women are the same, playing games, flirtatious, and loves challenges, water testers that dares the man if he tries to conquer which becomes a challenge.

Now for the man with the woman in her flirtatious ways, know that it would be hard for the man to just say No, even if she already knows that the man is currently already in a relationship, because she feels that he should be hers, which is the same with men and these are called family and home-wrecker that will flirt with you knowing that you are already in a relationship, trying to see how much power they have, trying out there so called smoothness. Psalm 55:21 says the words of his mouth were smoother than butter, but war was in his heart: it also says that his words were softer than oil, yet were they drawn swords meaning it was just to try you and see if you would give in, then afterwards let you down like you never had any existence or have ever existed, because you have become a puppet just hanging on a string, but because you have been blinded by what you thought was a light, you have become the prey caught successfully, you have become the one the cheater have singled out and not because of your flirtatious ways.

Because you were the most vulnerable, the one that stood out the most in the crowd, the one that showed the most gain, who have proven to be the one, that also ended up as a one night stand, only for pleasure when needed other than that, just a weekend thing that ends up just another one on the plate waiting to be served and not waited on with pleasure, just an appetizer who knows no better than to just please and not be pleased, just another opportunity Sometimes in life, we as a people should not have to go through or have to experience things in life only if we listen to our hearts, so how do we listen to our hearts? Well some, say if it skips a beat, it's a clear indication that the other one did also, because it is of the same, and talking about having the same hearts, let's look at when Mary!

The mother of Jesus who went to see Elizabeth, the Aunt of Jesus in who at the time was pregnant with a child name John who was the forerunner of Jesus in whom Leaped into the womb of Elizabeth because of the presence of Jesus in whom was in the womb of Mary, Elizabeth's cousin for they had the same heart, seeking to do God's will even in the womb, is how it should be when a man and a woman meet, there should be some kind of joy, happiness, peace or something there that spells out the word connection, love, and commitment.

Something that has something to do with something and somebody such as what is being sought after and it should connect. A wise woman builds up her house but a foolish woman tears it down before it can even be built. Proverbs 14:1 also states the bible tells us and says in the book of Proverbs 25:24, it is better to dwell on the corner of the housetop, than with a brawling woman in a wide house, and I had to find that out the hard way twice and because I did not listen to my heart, because my nose was and had been opened.

It just simply went be what I felt. Whenever getting into a relationship, examine yourself, the other, and the association and company she or he keeps and you can never go wrong, but you got to trust God and take your time, especially if the other one is ready and you are not. It's a sign and I had to learn it the hard way, so whenever you feel like you are being rushed into something, just simply back away, because you are then protecting yourself and the other, being that your nose is not already opened, thinking with your feelings and not your heart, be blessed and take it slow.

There are times in ours or a person's life because of our feelings we really need to break away from because now it's more about self than anyone else. Whenever you start to thinking that you are in this world by yourself or alone we need to open up our eyes a little wider. The earth is very large and can take care of itself and sometimes we get the earth mixed up with world when it comes to claiming it. Sometimes we would tell a person that they are invading their world and sometimes we/ you can be an invasion because their world is so small. When your world has shrunk and you feel you can't move around in it then you have allowed yourself to be captivated in your own little world and have developed. What would be called claustrophobia and cannot contain you, this is called trapped, confusion and frustration. Although there are times we/you might feel trapped, confused and frustrated but as long as you know that there is a God somewhere in your life, there has gotten to be healings somewhere.

Anything that's not like God is not of God no matter how to put it. Satan was heavens beauty who was in the presence of God at all times, who also made beautiful music, let's say so that it would be with him at all times. Anytime you think that there is nothing in the world that can beautify you and cause you to feel at peace, then you have given all of your peace away to the adversary. God said that if you call on His name, He would hear you. Most of the times, we are calling on the wrong thing to help us in life just as it was your God and you put it before God and that thing you called on or depended on is a false god and idol in which the false prophets called on but did not answer.

Whenever you call on anything other than the Capital God, it is not real. I believe God to be a real God like I believe that the wind blows and because of the affects of it, it proves that it's there in which God does not have to prove anything to anybody, He is just there watching and listening all the time because, He is god that needs no sleep nor does he slumber. He is the God that breathes into our bodies the breath of life that proves He is the one and only God because He has given us the breath of life.

The bible tells us that greater I the faiths of those that have believed and have not seen, than those that have seen and till have not believed. The bible tells us that faith is the substance of things hope for, and the evidence of things not seen. Greater love has no man than this that he lay his life down for his friends. My thought is where is the love? And what happened to true and real love? Does it exist anymore? And, if so, then I believe God will spare the city and set the captives free.

There are too many times in our little bitty lives that we take love, life, happiness, peace, and hope for granted and end up doing some things we ought not to be doing because we end up hurting people regardless to how they feel. We don't care anymore about people, not even our own families. Why is it that we can't genuinely love, despite what a person looks like, despite the way a person talks because, it is not their fault that they talk the way they do, it was God that gave them that voice and not themselves but God. When we love, it should be without dissimilation it should be straight from the heart and doing your part because we all have a part in life to do and to be about in our lives. If we did not have any parts in life, then why are there women to have babies and men to fertilize them?

A woman likes to get smart and say that they don't need a man to make a baby and that too is a lie because it takes a man's sperm to activate that egg. You see, it's like planting a garden, the seed has to be n the ground and after that, the seed is planted. Life comes forth but it has to come from the man because, a woman cannot make a baby by herself and that is final.

GOD'S WRATH

The wrath of God is revealed from heaven to all people verses things that are ungodly and that are unrighteous and to those that are not living according to his standard way of living, which is in a holy way according to his word, which is in the book of Roman 1:18.

Also In the book of (1 Peter 1:16) it tells us to be ye holy for I am holy, so then as Christ lived, so shall we live, meaning God will pour his wrath out on that which is not like himself for he is a Holy God.

2nd Thessalonians 2:10 also tells us that God will pour out his wrath on all those that deceives and are unrighteous, and that will perish because they refused to receive the love and truthfulness of God, that they might be saved.

Also because of the ignorance of mankind, it displeased the Lord in a sense that it made him wink according to (Acts 17:30) meaning man was not acknowledging his word as they should've been.

Man flourished and were foolish, according to God's word, and as it was in the days of Noah and of Moses, in the days of Noah the people Started marrying and given in marriage, marrying just to be able to say I'm married now and not marrying according to what the bible has to say about marrying. When you should be hearing the words "don't do it Sealy don't do it" quoted from The Color Purple.

People these days and those days were marrying for the wrong reasons and could not hear the voice of God. According to (Matthew 24:38), it states that they were doing this even as the warnings went out and paid no attention to the warnings. Whenever you lose track of what's going on around you, it becomes very hard for any individual to stay focused on anything, even themselves because, they have lost track of time and their surroundings and the ones who really love them.

After doing what you or they wanted you to do and not paying any attention to what's right and just doing your own thing, God will reveal His promise that He will pour out his wrath on the land because of the things that are not done the right way according to His will, as a parent will his/her child if he or she is disobedient. For it is better to be obedient than to be as you see fit or justified according to you, yourself, and I.

In the book Proverbs 13:24, it states that he/she sparest his/her rod hates his son/daughter/child, but, he that loves his/her child chastened him or her promptly. In other words, help him/her to come to the knowledge of the truth. The truth is something we as people love and are willing to be a part of and as long as everything is going right according to our standards, it's alright, but, what happens when it doesn't?

(John 3:16) For God so loved the world that he gave His only begotten son that whosoever believes in him shall not perish but have everlasting life. (John 3:17) says that He loved the world so much (paraphrased) that He gave His best, meaning His only son Jesus Christ that many still do not believe, to come into the world and save a wretched soul as I am or you are because of the sin possessed by any individual as yourself according to the book of Romans the 7^th chapter beginning at the 24^th verse that says O wretched man that I am! Who shall deliver me from the body of this death?

In the book of Romans sixth chapter in the 23^rd verse it tells us that for the wages of sin is Death; but the gift of God is eternal life through Jesus Christ our lord, no matter what the body says, I want the gift of God, so that when I pass from this life to the next, I would like to wake up at the feet of the one that came and died for a wretch like me and hear those words, those words everybody should want to hear Enter, welcome and you have been faithful over the few things that were put before you and I made you a ruler over many things and so now and know that our labor was not in vain and we have reasoned together and it was all good so come here ye now and sup with me as I have with you and let's rejoice together hear ye throughout eternal and everlasting life you've made it your labor was not in vain, Next.

So Jesus came into the world to save that which was lost, for the world through him could be saved. Sometimes we as people can be out of touch with the spirituality of God, they don't realize how close to death they've come or how death has passed them by because God said no, not yet I'm going to give them one more time to get it right with me because I am all and are an everlasting God and has been and are still is the almighty.

God is a God of more than a second chance and He knows that you don't count it as being gracious or giving or think that it's not right because of the things that have been allowed to happen, though it was not meant to hurt you, but to prepare you of what's ahead and the plot that's coming your way that's far more worse and He knows that's it's hard but remember that He said that He would not allow anything to come on you worst than what you can handle and He knows that you don't realize or recognize who God really is, but instead they make jokes and say things like what or who have I to be saved from, it's called stupidity. According to the book of Genesis 6:6, it talks about God's anger towards man because of what occurred in the land after his creation. In the process of creating something has to be beautiful because if it wasn't then why it is that God created us? When God breathed the breath of life into us it was beautiful and it was even more beautiful because it was the perfection of his appreciation until man did not want to do it his way anymore.

The Bible says that it repented the Lord that he had made man on the earth, and it grieved him at his heart because of the wickedness in the land and because of the way life was interpreted by man in life.

Also in the book of Isaiah 63:10 it states that the people started to rebel against God and vexed his Holy spirit and in return God turned and became their enemy, for to be a friend of the world is to be enmity against God.

According to Romans 8:7, says that because the carnal minded is enmity against God: for he is not subject to the law of God, neither indeed can be. (Romans 8:8) In the King James Version, the open bible in the expanded version says the same thing which is so then they that are in the flesh cannot please God

For there is therefore no condemnation to them which are in Christ Jesus, who walk not after the flesh, but after the spirit of God, so then we are without excuse in serving him being that the word of God is before us daily. So then if the word is before us daily why is it that we don't see it? What is love if you can't give it? What is thirsty if you can't quench it? And what is giving if you only know how to receive? The beat goes on.

God said behold I come to you in the volume of a book and that the word of God is plain to him that understands it according to the will of God Psalms 40:7 and Proverbs 8:9 and it is right to find knowledge but first of all a person that's trying to go forth in life should always reach for the top, and in our reaching we should probably try waving our hands and out of nowhere tell the Lord thank you and so in doing that we should know that we have to above all things get some wisdom, knowledge and some understanding being the principal of things to get but in all our getting the bible tells us to get an understanding.

So then a person cannot understand anything by not reading or at least trying to study anything for the bible tells us to study to show ourselves approved to God, a workman that needs to be ashamed, rightly dividing the word of truth. I have never seen anyone that can divide an even number into an odd number and get an even number for the answer.

This is just like the Devil he/she will give you something you will never be able to figure out simply because he does not play fair in anything that he/she does in life or anybody else's life because he is not even true to himself, let alone you.

God's Response: because God was and is who He is, the people glorified Him not, and they became vain in their imaginations, for their heart became darkened, for whenever good is present, then the presence of evil is also present. Question is whose presence are you in? And whose presences are they in when face to face with you and are you yourself, who are you presenting yourself or your supporter in whom awakes you daily.

(Romans 7:21) Paul said that I find then the law, that when I would do good, evil is present with me, so then the people's response to the call of God to repentance was null and void, for they were in a state of rebellion and for that cause, (Matthew 22:14) tells us that many are called, but, few are chosen.

As human beings why is it that we just have to be chosen and why is it that if we are not chosen, we get all discombobulated and confused with everything we come in contact with? So then God's verdict is that because His people are in a state of rebellion, then He will give to them according to His word and pour out His wrath on those that refused to do His will and hearken to His voice.

Those that have walked with Him, talked with Him and have tasted yet has refused to do His will, will suffer the consequences and will pay in the end, for it is better to taste and be ye thankful, than to taste it and waste it as if He was never good to you. The bible tells us to oh taste and see that the Lord is good, He is good. There are too many times that we just sit around and waste our time, others time and just have lost track of time and have gotten lost in a time zone and are trapped in our own little world.

According to Psalm 34:8 it tells us to O taste and see that the Lord is good, blessed is the man that trust Him and this is the outcome of His verdict being that it is good and just the opposite if he/she are not so good. God is like this to my knowledge, if you ask me for something and when it's time for me to give it to you and you refuse it, then why did you ask in the first place? It would have been better that you had not ask, than to ask because it is a mind boggling thing that interrupts the thought pattern of others.

God reveals himself in man when man begins to being a witness of Him and His power to heal, set free and deliver them from depression and that He only can clean their conscience of whatever they are going through and being able to bring them out of their situations. Also, he reveals Himself by way of their beliefs and testimonies of man, and that only He can bring them out of a situation that seems impossible because He can do the impossible for man to understand, but, because God is who He is, He can do whatever He pleases.

If we a person is in a situation and can't see any other way out, all that is needed to be done is to call on His name, what's His name? His name is Jesus and wait for His answer and in our waiting, we have to know that He has three answers to our question and that is yes, no, and wait which is not yet and we have to remember that we cannot rush God and also we have to be careful of what we ask for anyway because in all of our asking we for God will give it to you if it is for you. What Father would give his child something that would hurt them and not help them? God is a good God and He is worthy to be praised yes He is now give Him some praise clap your hands try Him.

And according to Matthew 19:26, which clearly states that, Jesus beheld them and said to them, with men this is impossible; but with God all thing s are possible, it is also revealed that if you don't believe that Jesus is the Son of God, is to make him a liar. The bible also lets us know that according to John 8:44 ye are of your Father the devil, and the lust of your father ye will do. He was a murderer from the beginning, and abode not in the truth in Him. When He speaks of a lie, he speaks of His own: for he is a liar and the father of it. For when the devil lies, he is consistent with his character.

Verse 18 states that no man has seen God, for He is the invisible God yet, visible to all for His mighty acts, He is seen in the book of Romans 1:20, which simply puts it as this He revealed Himself in His son Jesus Christ, who is the brightness of His glory and was more than just an angel, being one that purges sin, forgives sin and is the doorway to God's promise, He is the bright and morning star, being in the beginning with God, and was God in the flesh, He was and still rose of Sharon, and He is the lily of and in the valley song of Solomon 2:1 puts it like this I am the rose of Sharon, and the lily of the valleys. So what is He to me, me, and me?

So then the significance of the two are the same choosing God is to choose His son, not to choose His son is not to choose Him, for the two are one or are considered as one because they all have their own parts in the sway of the matter although, they said in the beginning to let us make man in our own image. I don't see how is it that there are even people that will tell you that they are one per centers and there are those that will tell you they are Jesus only believers. It defeats the purpose and is to really say that there is no Holy Ghost or Holy Spirit if you want to just make it just not sound so holy, but anyway it's the Father, The Son, and The Holy Ghost in whose names we have to know that exist and have forever existed even before time. In the beginning was the word, the word was with God, and the word was God (John 1:1).

John 10:38, states that the Father is in him, and he is in the Father and that the two are one. Whenever you are in a relationship, you are no longer considered as yourself, meaning you are one, your identity changes an now you are no longer twain but are one until death you do part and that's not of taking a life but rather a giver of life because, you love each other and it was because of your vow, the one's you made and promised each other, yes that one.

You no longer represent yourself but each other because of the bond you committed to each other and the commitment to be loyal, as far as being one that are now together when you are in pain then I am also, when you feel you just can't go on, I'll be there to help you through whatever it is you are going through, only if you'll let me, I will be your bearer whenever you need strength, I will be your arms to lift when you are weak, I will be there to rub you down in some hot oils.

When you are feeling tension and most of all I will be there to love you when you need to feel love or just to make love to, for I am your husband or I am whatever you want me to be for the bed is not defiled for you are my significant other of the right kind for God made the woman for the man and not the woman for the woman or the man for the man. For how else can you multiply with the same sex except you adopt and even that's not even in my will, for I made the father to be the father of his own child and the mother of her own child that was created by the two of you now make me a liar.

It was never intended to be as such, but sense that's the way you want it to adopt a child then I will allow it simply because those that are not taking care of what I have provided for them will be taken care of, for it is said that we should love one another even as your father which is in heaven have loved you, so it's only right to do unto others the way you would like to be done unto, treating others right will get a person a long ways in life only if we all believe.

How much scripture is God-breathed: as for this particular scripture the worth of this scripture is God-breathed throughout the whole 66 books of the bible from Genesis to Revelation.

However, in this particular text, holy men of God were moved by his spirit to write in as much as being a willing vessel of God inspired to write down his words which was and is good for teaching, leading and guiding his people in the right direction.

It is also useful in the lives of his people to turn right and to go straight that the man of God would be perfect and entire wanting nothing, with patience according to James 1:4 If you don't have patience how can you be at peace and without peace how can have any harmony?

A time when this scripture was useful to me was when I just had to trust God at his word when I had no other choice but to believe and trust in him to bring me through was when I had to take him at his word such as a time as it was.

When I thought I was going to be taken away from my family, God stepped in and turned it around, there also was a time when I had no other choice but to live on the street, he brought me through that situation, so then I never had to entertain myself as going hungry to a point of becoming like the prodigal son, but he delivered me.

The people or men of God were inspired by God to write his holy word according to 2Timothy 3:16, which was and is his book of heavenly and divine laws of God himself.

God spoke through and worked with what he had made, man his vessel and use them of his own will that his word would tell the true story of what he wanted to happen in the lives of his people, according to Acts 2:4 it states that they were filled with the Holy Ghost, and began to speak with other tongues as the spirit of god gave them utterance to speak.

In the book of Exodus 34:27 God used Moses and inspired him to write and to speak to his people and give them his laws, and the Lord said unto Moses, write thou these words: for after the tenor of these words I have made a covenant with you and with Israel. So he told Moses to speak to his people. In the book of Jeremiah 1:5, Jeremiah was inspired of Gods' word for he told him when he were a child that he knew him even before he was formed in his mother's womb and before he came forth out of her womb that he had sanctified him and ordained him for the people for the nation, so God let Jeremiah know that before he even existed he knew who him.

There is no hiding from God no matter how you put it. He also inspired Hosea to do his will by way of a demonstration of how much he loves us his people despite of anything else or of their wholesome, despite of them not acknowledging him as their God and despite of them not walking with him in his status, he is still waiting, willing and ready to take them in and back from his enemy as if nothing ever happened.

God said in the book of Chronicles 7:15 and he used the biggest word any one could ever use if, he said if my people, which are called by my name, shall humble themselves, and pray, seek my face and turn from their wicked ways, and then will I hear from heaven, and will forgive their sin and heal their land. Why is it that in order for anything to get done we have to do something? Well Jesus came worked, labored, suffered and died for us wretches undone, not neither has began to get it right with the Lord or even ourselves because we are undone. I don't think that anyone likes to eat uncooked food unless it's Sushi and those other things that are eatable.

We are inspired of God's word in our dreams, according to Daniel 2:1 and according to Daniel 7:1 where it tells us that we receives his words by way of a vision, we are also inspired of God's word by just a touch from an inspired person or being of God for the bible tells us that Daniel was touched by an angel of God while he was sleep in a deep sleep in which he had a vision in the form of a dream. In today's society we might call it a déjà vu but however for Daniel it was a real thing he had to deal with.

Let's look at it what are some of the real things you deal with throughout the day and as the days go by? Well one thing that we have to deal with is life and the fullness thereof. Life is so precious God gave it to us his people to live in it and enjoy the fullness of it until the woman was beguiled tricked of the enemy the Devil, Satan slue foot and the old club leg Snake a viper of the generations to come, tricked her to take the forbidden fruit from out of the midst of the garden in which God told her not to even think about for you will surely die, however the enemy told her that she surely would not die, it's just the fact that God knows that if you did eat you would be as he is, which is knowing right from wrong in which I don't see anything wrong with that so now we reap what we sow, we know good from evil and now are our eyes open to know danger, fear disrespect, honor and dishonor.

It was not a sin until she gave it to Adam and he did eat and so now it's a sin because the man did eat and not because of the woman for the man is responsible for the woman and now also vice versa whatever goes on in the household is for the blame of the two but mostly the man because he know better and how to be the bigger person and take care of his woman like she ought to be taken care of although it goes both ways what's good for the goose is still also good for the gander and it's all good, prime example without God we can do nothing, without him we would fail, without God we would be like a ship without a sail, it's just like the body without the spirit it would only be a shell without a soul to live in it, so with all of that being said we need God in everything we do and know that if it was not for him we would not have gotten up awake from our sleep.

Jesus' view of the Old Testament law/scripture was that the law is the law and is the law that is, and was in the times of old and that nothing changes but he has come that the law would be fulfilled.

For at the time, Moses, being a prophet of God that spread his word was fully man destined to make an error being born of a woman by the likes of a man, so then Jesus being 100% man and100% God in the flesh is the only one that can fulfill his will, one that is without sin.

It is important to know the law to live by according to God's word if you want to be in good standards with God for he said to be or to love the world is to be enmity against him.

What does the fulfillment of prophecy prove about the Old Testament? Well, for one, it proves that according to Matthew 1:22-23; 4:14; 8;17 12:17; 15:7-8 and 21:4-5 that a virgin will be with a child and we should call his name Emmanuel, which means( God with us) never to be alone again.

Proving "Isaiah" meaning God saves, in who was inspired by God and given to say of his arrival means that Jesus will come into the world and take upon our infirmities, suffer and die for our sins for he cares for us, his little ones.

Which also states that this Jesus is the one and only true son of God the almighty, in whom he is well pleased to send him for our sakes and that we by his obedience will except him as our lord and savior and be saved?

And that we have to beware of becoming a hypocrite saying things we ought not to say and doing things we ought not to do, going places we ought not to go, because the bible says that these kind draws close to him or just when

they are about to win, throws in the towel for they are only making sounds with their mouths but their hearts are far from everything in him and will say anything to get attention or someone to listen to them because it sounds good, which is no good for the soul.

The prediction of the New Testament by Jesus is that I will go away for a little while but I will send you back a comforter in my name and if you forget whatsoever you have heard from and have forgotten he will bring it back to your remembrance so that you would not be without.

He meaning the comforter, also the spirit of truth and to his followers he said that because they have walked with him and have talked with him, traveled with him, will be a witness in his stead.

Jesus, who is being the author and the finisher of our faith, who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is sat down at the right hand of the throne of God.

The difference of this book is that it gives instructions on how to prepare you and to protect that which stores information, that which tells the whole person and directs the whole person and to protect that which remembers him.

For the word of God will come in the day to separate that which is not like him, and that it will separate thoughts from thoughts and it will separate hearts from hearts that are like the mouths that say that it is, but hearts are far from what it says.

Our attitudes towards the bible should be sincere and directed in the position it should be daily as we study the word of God, and as we study the word of God we should also take heed in what it is saying to us and if we are confused, then we should seek an elder of the church, for he is then more connected at the present time than you are for the time being. The bible states that if any among you are sick, now don't get it all twisted now because He also gave knowledge to the doctors to enable them and give the knowledge need as well for such a time as needed for He was the one who performed the first surgery, when He cut Adam open to make Eve, by the taking of his ribs, why did He take a rib and nothing else, and just why the ribs?

Well my analogy is that He took the rib of the man so that it would be her strength when the man is not around to carry her, it was taken for when she doesn't have anyone else to lean on she would be able to stand on her own until the man of her dreams are in tack or are there to help pull the heavy load, to pick her up and to caress her when she needs a rub down or when she just needs his strength that helps her recognize that she needs him, which is why it is not good for a man or a woman to do without each other because in all reality, they really need each other more than they can imagine.

Why is it that we can believe that the wind is blowing in which we cannot see but can see the effects of it, we should be able to know that God is real, yes it's true we can't see Him but the effects are real as He heals our bodies and takes us through the rain, the storms, and all types of problems and come out without the lost of anything that we didn't need anyway, for He reached out to us and but we withdrew our hands as if it was away from Him and His help and as if we did not need Him, how do you think with Him being God, feels when we reject Him and His love for us?

We can also take the bible at its words by way of seeing some of the things that it has predicted, such as those things that will be in the last day events for in the day of the Lord, we have o be strong in the grace of God knowing that His grace is sufficient (2^nd Corinthians 12:9) tells us that we should meditate on His word day and night observing to do His will and to concentrate on Hi word knowing that it is the right thing to do, being doers of His words and not just hearers, for just to hear is not the same as studying and knowing for yourself.

For if we take God's word and hide it in our heart, then we will have it for when the time comes and we can't find a bible, then we would always have it stored in our hearts so that when needed as Jesus said, He will bring all things back to our remembrance and that we should know that God's word is like a lamp unto our feet (Psalm 119:105) and is a light to our path.

Also in the book of Proverbs 3:6 it tells us that if we acknowledge Him, being God, he will direct our path. Also, the bible tells us to trust in the Lord and not to lean on our own understanding.

If we take heed to the word of God according to what we have read and studied, if we stop jumping into everything that looks good to us, we will not keep on getting ourselves into trouble with others, ourselves, and/or God because we are the only one that can make things bad or better for ourselves, except we allow someone else to do it for us and if we don't have the knowledge of direction in our lives, then we are lots of our own free will because, we did not seek, look, or ask for any help of anyone.

In our lifetime we have to know line upon line and precept meaning that we have to know the commands of life and what it means to us, we have to take it seriously and apply our very own walking and talking meaning saying what you mean, and mean what you say.

A lot of times we play games with other's lives and take them for what we think it should be like according to ourselves and sometimes take people for granted and play with their lives, not realizing that the life you/I'm playing with his feelings and we don't expect any reaction to be negative, but instead we laugh at how we used or so called played with someone's mind and think nothing of it which is a crazy and stupid thing to do because some are really in love, we just fail to believe it and why is that? Is it because we really don't care or just don't give a crap about anybody or anything and if that's so, then why are we of the Devil because that's the way he is; only if we knew, then we can't go wrong.

The bible says that he will keep them in perfect peace, whose mind is stayed on him, because he trusts in him according to Isaiah 26:3. Where is your mind if it is not on God? And where is your trust or who do you trust being that the bible tells us to put our trust in no man. Who do you trust when things are not going your way or according to your plans? There is no one that is higher than God and as some would say, that's your belief, and that's all we need to know and what we need to know that if you don't read your bible then how will you ever know? Let's put it like this if you had not gone to school would you have known what you know today? The answer is no because everyone needs some kind of education which is why everyone needs God and need to study his word to show themselves approved. Amen.

Adoration and Appreciation

A woman is to be admired, appreciated and touched. I am a strong believer of giving a woman everything I have when I am committed to her because it's the proper thing to do I think, and is what is expected of myself is to give a woman or my woman the pleasure she deserves, which is also the proper way of doing things to keep her. The bible tells us that a woman is as precious rubies. It also tells us in Proverbs 3:15 that she is more precious than rubies and is all of the things that a man can desire and cannot be compared to her. I am a strong believer of these sayings, how about you? And do you agree?

In the book of Solomon he expresses the love that he has for a woman, he tells us that she has two {wings}/breast that are like fawn which means: to exhibit affection or attempt to please, Solomon 4:5 tells us that they are the twin sisters/twins of gazelle which feeds among the lilies, talking about two breast in other words, they are found and are exciting to be around and touch, squeeze and maybe perhaps to suck on. Solomon goes on to say that women altogether are beautiful and are a pleasure to have and to be around.

In another instance Solomon goes on to let us know that a woman will make your heart beat faster at just a glance into her eyes, he also said in the 4^th Chapter verse 9 that you have made my heart beat faster, my sister, my bride; you have made my heart beat faster with a single glance of your eyes, with a single strand of your/her necklace. He does on to adore her with his words of compliments to her and he tells her that her lips, drips honey; and that honey and milk in under her tongue.

My word to this is so, so sweet, sweet to the taste. I admire a woman for who she is and what she stands for if in fact she is positive about what she does the words she speaks and the positivity she has towards her mom because if she disrespects her mom, she will disrespect you and anyone who crosses her path. If a woman have respect for her mother and her mother have respect for her, then I know that I would have found a good, good woman indeed simply because of her mother's happiness in life, because she stands and represents herself for other women because she knows what it takes to be a good woman and how to treat her man and not use him like a light switch or something with no life, in use for services when needed only.

A man will respect a woman more, if she would just let him be the man and not her child in which she thought she had to raise again and again. A man will not be a man if he is lead to believe that he's not because the woman thought she was pick up by a boy. Women say that they want a good man, but what are they? Are they/you a good woman? If a woman/man would just stop and listen, verses speaking out loud first, the question that is asked would be heard. She/he would have a much better relationship with the other or that one of her or his dreams.

I have a daughter and she is a very beautiful young lady. My daughter carries herself like a respectful young lady should carry herself when it comes to men trying to get with her just because she knows what they only want. She knows what they are after because I told her from a man's point of view so that she would know although there are times; well I can't really say that because of how she makes me feel when she tries to mess with my nerves. I am so happy that she has grown up to be a very beautiful and respectful young lady that took after herself and nobody else because she knows who she is as well as know who or what she does not want to be.

My daughter is her own person with her own traits and personality. Although she did get something from me and her mother, she has my looks, but she didn't but until that moment came I found out that she did have something that her mother have and that's when you get on her nerves then she falls into a protective mode in order to maintain her composure and when she get's like that with me then the time has come to call it a day see you later love you because it's when her eyes starts to wink, that mean it's time to go. And that's the way I think it should be when you start to get upset with your significant other then it's time to vacate not her/him but the problem that can eventually separate the two of you which is called knowing when to just shut up and let by gone be by gone. Two people hollowing at each other's cannot hear what the other one is saying because everybody wants to be heard but never want to listen.

When my daughter allow herself to be in a protective mode and we are together it reminds me of her mother when she is having a bad day in which the "Enemy" in that appears smaller than anything or anybody and is kind and very nice to be around but, when you get on her nerve or sometimes you don't have to get on her nerves to pull her strings, it could be that she is having a bad day and then takes it out on whoever is around her and gives them a bad day if they would just only listen to her, although I think that her anger comes from her being so short and want to be tall is not happening as she knows, so then she becomes the meanness person anyone would ever not want to be around, and I truly think that because some people are short it has a ripple effect on their emotions.

When a man loves a woman, I mean really loves her, when he loves her he hashes like a dog it's more than you can imagine has gone through his head, day dreaming and seeing himself in the future with her, I mean he starts to breathing hard, heart starts to pumping fast and most of the time he does not know how to approach a woman that he really want to get to know, he tries and try to be the pleaser to his woman every chance he get. There is only one thing that gets in man's way, and that is the very person that he sticks his chest out for and tries to please but is let down.

A man will go out of his way to make sure that he does what he have to do in order to please his woman, but the woman have to put herself out of the way, meaning: she have to stop having crazy thoughts and telling him what a man is suppose to be like when she have never been one before in life, this one or the one in the past because there was no past other than what is now and in the now and that's you/her.

A woman is the pride of a man's life and joy in the center of it that and has been that way since the devil was kicked out of Heaven, so then the man if he had it to give he will give his woman the stars, the birds and the trees, I believe he would give her even the moon, the sun and everything beneath and above except his throne, Samson played around and played around and Delilah played around with him until she broke him down and it caused him to lose his strength, eyesight and his unwillingness to stand for what he was suppose to be standing for. Without a chief who can lead? And without a follower then who can take advice and learn from it?

Glossary

{Come now}…let us reason together said the Lord: though your sins are as scarlet, they shall be as white as snow, though they are red like crimson, and they shall be as wool. Whenever and where ever there is an agreement there is peace, though you might not agree, agree that you disagree and not carry on with the same old thing.

{Dog}…any animal belonging to the same family… a domesticated carnivore one that refrains from action that would alter or create an existing problem, to assume an attitude because of and would start to wonder off losing its place in the family because of situation unsolvable.

{Do things}…refer to do things that cause a reaction, retaliation being irresponsible for, to do things is to get away from things that cause negativity in the home, on the job and or even when alone, even while in your peacefulness.

{Family wrecker}…John 10:10 the thief comes only to kill, steal and destroy but I have come that you may have life, and have it more abundantly, whatever it was that caught your eyes when they met the other set of eyes is still there and the only reason why it's not there is because somebody has been hoodwinked, blind folded and does not recognize that what was there is still there and the grass is truly no greener on the other side as it was when your eyes first met. Clothes are put on the same way unless and unless is well known of when one gets tired of wearing the clothes that is meant for that sex to wear.

{Good soil}…Mark 4:4 some fell by the way side and was devoured, some fell on stony ground and had no power to live but died, and there was some that fell, and some fell in the fire and was scorched because it had no covering and withered away, but then there was those that fell on good ground that sprang up, went forth, prospered and was very reliable, which was the one that always was there but was not fed as before, was not nurtured and was not paid any attention to, ignored neglected abused talked about and was not respected any more as before.

{Haters}… refer to family wrecker haters are those who hate just to hate and don't know why they are hating, haters are those that hate you for just being you because of who you are and not only that, but because of who's you are rather its God or the one you love it does not matter to the hater and the other only reason why hate flows so deeply in their hearts is because they are lacking love.

{I need some time}…an invasion has occurred and is about to take place, take over and make predictions, decisions and provisions that will take over if it is not caught in time, before it takes over the mind, it ties in with house wrecker, which is an intruder, In a rodent way. It makes one feel like they don't need what before them anymore and the beat goes on, a term we are all familiar with.

{Hell}…Isaiah 5:14 therefore hell has enlarged herself and opened her mouth without measure; and their glory, and their multitude, and their pomp, and he that rejoice shall descend into it, anytime when there is a disagreement, discouragement, discomfort, disrespect and anything that not right and are not going right rather in the home, at the job, with your so call friend or even with yourself, know that you are being drawn to its attention that's like a gravity pull or a suck hole or a whirlwind pulling you away from that which is good.

{It is better}…it's never better before but it is better afterwards, you cannot think in the pass when you are trying to go forward in anything, it is never better when you have dirty laundry until you wash it, because now it's clean and when it is clean keep it clean because you are never recovering because it is a continuing process never ending but when you have recovered then you are complete and etc.

{Men with men}…Romans 1:27 in the new translation bible it tells us that and the men, instead of having normal sexual relations with women, burn with lust for each other, doing shameful things with other men, and as a result of this sin, they suffered within themselves the penalty of death. Most likely they are those pretty boys doing thing on the down low hoping that what they are doing will never come to the light, stuck in the closet, which is another reason why hell has enlarged herself.

{Vile affections}…for the same reason even their women because of vile affection the women did change the natural use of that which is against nature and God so he gave them up to a reprobate mind which means he rejected them.

{One Flesh}…Mark 10:8 (New international version) and the two will become one flesh which means they are no longer two, which means when you hurt I feel it, when you cry I feel it when you are in agony I feel it and when you are going through something that seems impossible I should not run from it but stand up to it, because when two agree what can separate the two, for God if living for him should last forever, because God said that he would never leave us nor will he forsake us and we don't have to beg for anything if our minds are kept on him Amen. Which means it is so.

{Worship}…John 4:24 God is a spirit, and those who worship him must worship him in spirit and in truth, thou shall not make unto yourself any graven image, or any likeness of anything that is in heaven above, or that is in the earth beneath, or that is in the water under the earth, thou shall not bow thyself down to them, nor serve them: for I the LORD thy God am a jealous God, women and men should honor the ones they said I do or I will to.

{Pretty boys}…there are no body prettier than the man or woman you have met that was not pretty before, in other words they are the same person that was adored and admired before, it's just a refusal to see what's really real, hoodwinked, but made to see different from and by the other source, who is the enemy.

{Good soil}…Be not deceived; for God is not mocked: for whatsoever a man sow/plants that shall he also reap/receive (example): if you plant a tomato you will get a tomato). That shall you also reap. For he that sows to the flesh shall of the flesh reap corruption: but he that sows to the spirit shall of the spirit reap life everlasting. Galatians 6:7-8.

Whenever you plant of invest in something you should check it out first so that you will know who, what and when to invest. If you are going out on a date with someone you should check the soil out and make sure you are planting your goods in rich soil, soil that has a need and not a want otherwise if you plan your goods in any other soil that's like the clay we walk on, is to plant in on stony ground, you would be planting in places nothing ever grows in, planting in negative grounds that does not know how to yield then you are planting in a blank field. If you plant on stony grounds you cannot make alive what's dead for you are not Jesus, in other words you can't change what's already arranged.

The root of it all is, if there is no root, there is no life and if there is no life there is no spirit, God said that those that worship him must worship him in spirit and in truth, if there is no grounds in which you planted, there will be no life yielded up because it has no ground and root of itself, it has no substance and cannot be trusted, it will drain out everything you have or ever had. Philippians 3:2 tells us to watch those dogs, beware of workers, and beware of the concision. It will send you to a place not made for man, but for the devil and his demons only.

It is very important to live your life according to the will of God, but some will ask a question, what is God's will for me and in my life? the answer to that is trust God and do good, so shall thou dwell in the land and verily thou shall be fed "Psalm 37:3, Proverbs 5:5-6 tells us to trust in the lord with all of our heart and for us not to lean on our own understanding, and in all of our ways acknowledge him, as he will make your paths straight and will direct them as well. Sometimes we need direction in our lives needless to say, all the daylong if we are not careful of the things we do and the things we say to others even to ourselves which can cause us to fall right into the trap of illusion fixed and mixed imagination thinking that we should be here when we should be there, wherever here or there may be. 1st Corinthians 15:33 be not deceived: evil communication corrupts good manners; if you are in a relationship and you develop bad manners or already have them but didn't allow them only to come out when tested or tempted, then you have bad manners that will corrupt not only the one you love but a whole nation, first we have to keep ourselves in check before we can put or attempt putting someone else in check anything other than that is a hypocrite, are you a hypocrite?

whenever one finger is pointing at you several others are pointing right back at you; Matthew 7:5 the new living translation; you hypocrite, first get rid of the log in your own eye, then you will see well enough to deal with the speck in your friends eye, in other words don't cast the blame on anybody else until you check yourself.

Stages When Interring into "A" Relationship

1. Whenever entering into a relationship, "you should always be cautious", just like there are antichrists; there are anti-relationships as well, such as just wanting to get under the covers, because of thoughts that arrive from out of nowhere and somehow ends up into the heads of the pursuer, in whom have already had dreams of the Imagination and of Lust that has manifested, because of an imagination. David in the book of 2nd Samuel 11:5 says that one day as he decided "David that is" to take a walk on his palace, took a stretch that caused him to see a woman as he turned towards her not knowing she was there, he seen her bathing in whom was in a "purification state of being" and because of what he'd imagine in his head and seen in his head ,he decided to send for her and because of who he was she came to him, being he was the King, sometimes the more the better, but in other times the more the problems become; and they did sleep together and as they did, they begat Solomon in whom also became a king much later on in the story, long story short, he betrayed his "boy" and she betrayed her husband.

Desires are good but, "for the right reasons" not for lustful feeling sitting in your heart, if that was the case, you could only look at it as a power struggle, if it's not your way, there's no other way, "what a selfish thought" for instance and first of all and far most; in the beginning you are strangers seeking the energy of another in order of getting to know each other; at some point you feel that you're attracted one to another because of an energy that's sometime called a gut feelings which are nine times out of ten are going to be true whether it's good or bad however some emotional feelings which is in most cases is just a feeling because of the feeling of being lonely that gives a desire to taste or try it you might like it "but what if you don't like it, then what?

"Everything that looks good does not mean it is" wanting to try a piece of cake because of the frosting and what it stands for or what's in it as you know what should be in it does not mean that it is, it's plastic or make believe, it's not Coca Cola, "it's not the real thing" women and men are just alike in most cases and situations, "yet are afraid to admit it", you should always learn of each other and of each other's back ground, check out what kind of a back ground you are about to get yourself involved in. straight to the point, there might be schizophrenia unknown, hey you never know you at least want to be ready for it, there might even be mental problems, jealousy problems, "I'm the boss problems, "uncompromising problems", "what I say goes problems" and just plain old "shut up I'm talking" problems you might not want to put yourself and if there's children through, so you have to be very careful and so on and so forth and etc.

2.Getting closer: when getting closer and getting to know the opposite sex because opposite should be the only thing you should be attracted to the bible as when he is about to create the bible reminds us of what he has done before what he is about to do something every time, for the bible said that, then, "God said let us make mankind in our image, in our likeness, so that they may rule over the fish in the sea and the birds in the sky, over the livestock and over all the wild animals, and over all the creatures that move along the ground." so God created mankind in his own image, in the image of God he created them; male and female he created he them. In the a clause of v-28 God blessed them and said to them, Be fruitful and increase in number, fill the earth and subdue it.

The one person you want to share a part of your life with should not be complicated, arranged or difficult; neither should it be simple, however! But sometimes a challenge, why a challenge? well if the eagle didn't force her eaglets out of the nest, they would have never learn how to fly, every now and then in order for someone to be pleased with us/you/me, we have to do sometimes extraordinary things to please each other or perhaps something self challenging, life is not about just giving, giving and giving, more and more, but it's about returns as well, it's not always going to be fifty, fifty, there will be some seventy thirty, some sixty forty, whatever it takes, but it should never be about who is doing the most or about who is not, for better or for worst, even in what's not agreed upon sometimes, I don't agree to, even a boyfriend girlfriend relationship as well because it can lead into marriage, and if it does, then what? you will already know the difference and how to deal with situations that may come or arrive in your lives. From my perspectives there should be a yearning for each other, yet respect for one another wishes, dreams and desires.

Sometimes when getting to know a person you are truly interested in, you have to be willing to take a risk and or a chance, and after all, we take chances every day, however! most of them are unknowingly and some of them are known of, yet we challenges it anyway thinking in our heads that maybe it's not as it seems, as we end up fooling ourselves, whichever way you look at it, it's still a chance, some chances we take in our lives for instance "getting into a cab", "going out on the very first date with someone we are trying to get to know" "invitations to dinner not knowing where you're going or headed or who's preparing it", we go to movies not knowing who is in the movies or are we're the star of the movie, there are a bunch of people out there for their own amusement, "entertainment for self only" {weirdo's}, you never know who you are meeting.

we seldom would go on trips, ball games other outings and so forth and then finally, family as per meeting the parents of do or do not's, in some cases some of us have one others have both, whichever way it goes it has to or should be done and should be done, because to my opinion it is the proper way of introducing your now better half or your significant other so that things can now be stabilize, so that your parents or parent can get a feel of what you are getting yourself into because they normally are able to miraculously see things you have not seen as of yet, you might not think so, but it's true.

Sometimes we can get caught up in things that feel good to us, but in most cases they are not, it's just a feeling and are not true feelings, true feelings comes from within, from the heart and not the chest, feet, eyes or any parts of the body other than the heart for that is where true love resides: 1st Corinthians 13:4-8 love is patient, love is kind. it does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no records of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoice with the truth. it always protects, always trust, always hope, always perseveres. Love never fails, but where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be still; where there is knowledge it will pass away,{NIV Bible version}.

If these things are followed and are thought upon, you can never go wrong, don't give in to anything else other than these, for it is the way and the word of God, for God is love all by himself according to 1st John 4:8 NIV that says whoever does not love does not know God, because God is Love, know God be of him and let him be the greater one in your life and everything else will fall into place, however be equally yoked together and not unequally because it will not work and be of the same faith, for as God loved the church so ought we to love each others as God gives us strength, knowledge wisdom and the understanding to be able to understand each other's verses downsizing because something went wrong, fix it not by yourself but together, for if a house be divided it cannot and will not stand, together or apart, but definitely not apart.

3. Mingling time: to mix or bring together in combination, usually without the loss of individual characteristics,so now as the mind starts to wonder and you start seeing yourselves together and it's just you in most cases, whereas in these days and times there are a lot of drop out parents that are now in the picture and a lot of step in parents that have found their way or have had no other choices in life but to give in to what has already been created, readymade families or if lucky so to say one that is not, whichever one it is that might happen you have to realize that even in this, you are taking a chance with self your children and or others, however it's primarily is going to be a chance we all will have to take some day if we want to be at least partially happy.

as long as we can put two and two together and get four everything will add up to what it's supposed to be, no more and no less. togetherness as a family is very important for it was the family first, then the church, and so now you want to start a family, but in order to start a family you would have to be well adjusted for the modifications of a life changing experience and the impact it will cause in the lives of those wanting to for, it is amazing of what two can accomplish when two heads are thinking alike together, sometimes you have to agree even though you disagree, it will keep the peace in your lives and your homes, if your head does not starts to swell, be of one accord and of one mind with each another and definitely with no secrets kept from each other unless it's for a good surprise for pleasing and not displeasing or displeasure.

for example if your neck didn't work, your head would not be able to turn from your wicked ways and let God have his way in your lives, not knowing more than the other and if so then be considerate of your significant others feelings that you hurt them not but nurture them. never should we ever let or put anything before God not even ourselves or allow anybody to cause you to turn against each other, it is a destroyer of any relationship with or of any kind. Always let your yea be yea and you may be nay or else something will come in and cause confusion in your household, family, relationships and in your lives for God and your are not the Arthur of confusion if you are of him.

4.So now you're in a stage of life now and have started seeing the good as well as the bad about each others, the likes and don't likes, whereas was not there before and now is, why is that? now that the relationship has done the impossible, the people that already thought it wasn't going to last is knocking at your door the devil is mad because it's lasting and now it's tempting time, it's time to see if you're true to yourself and or to your significant other and now is going to try and tear it apart because it is ordained of God, whereas if it was not and as long as you stayed in it, that would be alright with him "the Devil" for as much as you haven't said I do, or I will as of yet, he is pleased with it.

Have you ever notice married people before they got married? and now that their marriage is lasting and they are happy, it puts a frown on his face, but will intrigue a none godly relationship to stay together, encourage and pound on to break up, have his empts calling you telling you things that needs not to be heard of, or even thought of, because, nine times out of ten it is too negative to hear or to digest, let those kind keep to themselves, they are called truce breakers: according to 2nd Timothy 3:3-5 it tells us that they are without natural affection, truce breakers, false accusers, incontinent, fierce, despisers of those that are good. Traitors, reckless, conceited lovers of pleasure more than lovers of God. Having a form of godliness, but denying the power thereof, from such turn away. the main thing to not do is never let anything negative come into your lives, the man or the woman, no matter what, "put a lid on it, seal it and throw it away and when you throw it away, do it in Jesus name and Amen and may God continue blessing relationships until the next time, praise the name of the lord.

Mark 10:9 new living translation: let no one split apart what God has join together, that mean mama, daddy, sister, brother, aunt, uncle, first cousin, second cousins or third cousins not even grandparents separate you as God has join or brought together, however make sure that it was God that brought you together, if it's man and man or woman and woman, know this and that is, it was not Gods doings for he made the woman for the man alone, don't get it twisted and it's not the other way around and if it was so then he would have told the same sex to multiply, but he didn't and being that he didn't and you do, it is a slap in God's face.

Romans 6:23 for the wages of sin is death, but the gift of God is eternal life so please for your souls sake, don't think that God is not watching, for if he watches the sparrow, you should know that he watches you as his eyes never closes only ours, so that he can watch over us as we sleep and slumber threw the night. God is good all the time and has never fail at anything, he is your keeper, supplier, healer, savior the door, the way and redeemer until him the Father of heaven calls us home and to stand in the line where judgment begins.

loced1@live.com